Zoidberg: I'll have a look, but I remind you, I'm an expert on humans not robots.
Fry: I'm not Bender, I'm Fry.
Zoidberg: Really? I thought you were the robot.
Fry: Nope. Human.
Zoidberg: Alright, alright, spare me your life story.

Leela: I've never seen anyone so addicted to Slurm.
Fry: This is nothing. Back in high school I used to drink a hundred cans of cola a week. Right up until my third heart attack.

Announcer: Just look for the winning bottle-cap inside specially-marked cans of Slurm.
Babe: I won!
Announcer: No purchase necessary unless you wish to enter the contest. Odds of winning mathematically insignificant.
Fry: I like those odds.

Oh, how I wish I could believe that. You may be my evil half-brother, but there's no law against murdering the other half.

Calculon

Leela: (about the door where the secret ingredient is) Is it the secret ingredient?
Grunka Lunkas: Grunka lunka dunkity dingredient,
You should not ask about the secret ingredient.
Bender: Okay, okay! We get the point!
Leela: I was just curious because of the armed guards.
Grunka Lunkas: Grunka lunka dunkity darmed guards...
Bender: Shut the hell up!

Farnsworth: Who are those horrible orange creatures over there?
Glermo: Why those are the Grunka-lunkas; they work here in the Slurm factory.
Farnsworth: Tell them I hate them.

Bender: (holding F-Ray) What should we point it at first?
Fry: I dunno...try it on me. (Bender shoots him with the F-Ray) Ow, my sperm!

Amy: You should try homeopathic medicine Bender; take some zinc.
Bender: I'm 40% zinc!

Leela: Bender, why did you jump in?
Bender: Everybody was doing it. I just wanted to be popular.

Futurama Season 2 Episode 4 Quotes

Farnsworth: Commissioner, my crew has made a horrific discovery: It seems that Slurm is produced in a colossal worm hiney!
Commissioner: Hmm, "hiney", you say? Why, with your testimony we'll finally be able to outlaw this insidious Slurm.
Fry: Outlaw Slurm? Uh, don't pay any attention to him, sir... Grandpa's making up crazy stories again.
Farnsworth: I'm not your grandpa, you're my uncle! From the year 2000!
Commissioner: OK, grandpa, we'll take care of the "bad worms", don't you worry.

All this prolonged exposure to radiation is making me thirsty.

Fry