Futurama Season 2 Episode 2: "Mars University" Quotes
Leela: Don't take this the wrong way, Fry, but you don't seem like the educated type.
Fry: Oh, yeah? Read it and weep. I'm a certified college dropout.
Leela: Please! Everyone knows 20th century colleges were basically expensive daycare centres.
Farnsworth: That's true. By current academic standards, you're merely a high school dropout.
Fry: What? That's not fair. I deserve the same respect any other college dropout gets.
Gearshift: No, Bender, wait. We're the lamest frat on campus. Even Hillel has better parties than us. Please, you've gotta stay and teach us how to be cool.
Bender: Hmm, OK. But I'll need 10 kegs of beer, a continuous tape of Louie Louie and a regulation two-storey panty-raid ladder.
Fatbot: Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy!
Fatbot: I heard that in one single night you drank a whole keg, streaked across campus and crammed 58 humans into a phone booth.
Bender: Yeah, well, a lot of 'em were children.
Gearshift: Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Gearshift, chapter president. This is Oily, and this here is Fatbot.
Bender: You're all losers. My name's Bender.
Fratbot #1: Mate in 143 moves.
Fratbot #2: Oh, pooh. You win again!
Bender: Uh-oh, nerds!
Leela: You went to college?
Bender: Of course. I'm a bender, I went to Bending College. I majored in Bending.
Fry: What was your minor?
Bender: Robo-American Studies.
They planted traditional college foliage; ivy, trees, hemp.
Leela
Farnsworth: I need it shipped to my office at Mars University. It's a little experiment that may well win me the Nobel Prize.
Leela: In what field?
Farnsworth: I don't care, they all pay the same.
Fry: I vow to get into college and drop out all over again!
Leela: You won't last two weeks!
Fry: Aw, thanks for believing in me.
Dean Vernon: You robots are a disgrace to this university! Whenever a fire alarm is pulled, Robot House. Whenever the campus liquor store is looted, Robot House. Whenever a human corpse is desacrated-
Bender: Now I can explain that...
Fry: Back in the 20th century we had no idea there was a university on Mars.
Farnsworth: Well, in those days, Mars was just a dreary uninhabitable wasteland. Much like Utah. But unlike Utah, it was eventually made livable.
Farnsworth: Good news, everyone. You have a package to deliver.
Fry: Where to?
Farnworth: To me.
Bender: Another job well done.
