Futurama Season 1 Quotes
Bender: Um, I'm only hallucinating this, right?
(The Robot Devil cracks his whip; Bender yelps.)
Robot Devil: No, Bender! Robot Hell is quite real! Here's our brochure. (hands Bender a brochure entitled "Hell Is Other Robots")
Bender: But I don't belong here! I don't like things that are scary and painful!
Robot Devil: Sorry, Bender. You agreed to this when you joined our religion. If you sin, you go to Robot Hell... (evilly) for all eternity!
Bender: Aw, hell... I mean heck!
Robot Devil: It's alright, you can say that here.
Leela: What in hell happened to Bender?
Fry: Well he didn't check out. The ashtray's still here. Look, Nibbler's caught the scent of vodka and motor oil!
Leela: (knocks on the restroom door) Bender, why are you spending so much time in the bathroom? Are you jacking on in there?
Bender: No! Don't come in!
Fry: Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, Bender. So long as we're here why don't we take in some exotic dancing?
Leela: Hey, great idea!
Bender: But... those girls don't wear cases. You can see their bare circuits.
Fry: Bender's stupid religion is driving me nuts.
Leela: Amen.
Farnsworth: If only he had joined a mainstream religion like Oprah-ism or Voodoo.
Bender: Friends! Friends! Surely you're not going to eat before we say Robot Grace? In the name of all that is good and logical we give thanks for the chemical energy we are about to absorb. To quote the prophet Jerematic: 1000101010101... (Time Lapse)... 010110012. Amen.
Fry: Great! He's whacked out on electricity again.
Bender: No, I'm whacked out on life. My friends, I found religion.
Fry: Religion? Is this another scam to get free yarmulkes?
Farnsworth: Uh, yes, here I am, OK, now, hello there. Now, we all know telescopes allow us to see distant objects. But what if we want to smell distant objects? Well now we can! Thanks to my new invention ... the Smellescope.
Man: Oh, I say!
Farnsworth: The odour travels past this coffee stain here, around the olive pit and into this cigar burn. And this appears to be a doodle of myself as a cowboy... But the Smellescope is brilliant, I tell you! Think of the astronomical odours you'll smell thanks to me.
Wernstrom: I've waited a hundred years for this, Farnsworth. I give your invention the worst grade imaginable: An A-minus-minus.
Welcome to this year's Academy of Inventors Annual Symposium. I'm your host, Ron Popeil, inventor of Mr. Microphone, the spray-on toupee and, of course, the technology to keep human heads alive in jars.
Popeil
Farnsworth: Perhaps 149 is just too old to be a scientist.
Bender: Yep!
Fry: No, Professor, don't give up. There were plenty of times in my century when I was gonna give up but I never did. Never! Hey, are you even listening to me? Oh, I give up!
Farnsworth: Eureka!
Fry: Did you build the Smellescope?
Farnsworth: No, I remembered that I'd built one last year.
