Favorite Gilmore Girls Quotes
Luke: You look like you need pie.
Rory: I do?
Luke: Violent pencil tossing usually signals the need for pie.
Rory: What if I'd thrown a pen?
Luke: I would've brought you a trout.
Rory: What?
Luke: I don't make the rules, I just carry them out.
Dean: Rory, don't go.
Jess: Well, geez man. She's not shipping off to 'Nam.
Lorelai: Rory, I love you. I would take a bullet for you. But I'd rather stick something sharp in my ear than go to the club with you.
Rory: Fine.
Lorelai: I'd rather slide down a banister of razor blades and land in a pool of alcohol than go to the club with you.
Rory: I got it.
Lorelai: Don't stop me, I'm on a roll. I'd rather eat my own hand than go to the club with you. Ooh, I'd rather get my face surgically altered to look like that lunatic rich lady with the lion head than go to the club with you.
Rory: Would you like me to drive so you can continue your diatribe?
Lorelai: Would ya? Thanks. I'd rather cut off my head and use it as a punch bowl than go to the club with you.
(smashes hole in adjoining wall with sledgehammer) That's your room. (hands the sledgehammer to Jess) Finish up. We'll hold hands and skip afterwards.
</i> Luke
Dean: (Referring to Babette and Miss Patty singing) So, how many cocktails caused that?
Rory: Oh, they haven't had any cocktails yet.
Dean: Really?
Rory: Oh yeah, when they start having cocktails we're gonna have to hide you.
Lorelai: You look peeved.
Emily: I'm not peeved.
Lorelai: Well, you look peeved.
Emily: Kindly stop making me say the word peeved.
Paris: (on asking Rory to run for Vice President) Because people think you're nice. You're quiet, you say excuse me, you look like little birds help you get dressed in the morning. People don't fear you.
Rory: Hey, I haven't been dressed by a bird since I was two.
Because sometimes you have something you need to say but you can't because the words won't come out or you get scared or you feel stupid, so if you could write a song and sing it then you could say what you need to say and it would be beautiful and people would listen and you wouldn't make a complete idiot out of yourself, but all of us can't be songwriters so some of us will never be able to say what we're thinking or what we want other people to know that we're thinking so we'll never get the chance to make things right again ever.
Rory
(to Rory after Gloria drives away in her golf cart) The most odious woman alive.
Richard
Rory: Yes, but I'm going to be wearing shoes. Nobody's going to see my feet.
Lorelai: Okay, but everybody knows that private school girls are bad. And bad girls always wear red nail polish.
Lorelai: Tell me something happy.
Sookie: I can't make the strawberry shortcake.
Lorelai: Wow, you suck at this game.
Babette: Is there a problem?
Lorelai: Oh, nothing Shakespeare couldn't turn into a really good play.
