(wrestling large, cumbersome harp through crowded lobby)
Drella: Aw, that's it, lady, tie your shoe NOW... Yeah, d-don't... don't worry, I'll wait!
Lorelai: Hi, Drella. hi... I was just wondering, ummmm... could you be, ahhh... nicer to the guests?
Drella: Oh, ah... um, I'm sorry, did you not want a harp player?
Lorelai: Yes, I did.
Drella: Did you not want a great harp player?
Lorelai: (sighs) Yes, I did.
Drella: OK... I am a great harp player... and this, is my great harp, 'kay?... So, if you're looking for someone to just be nice to the guests, get a harmonica player, maybe some guy who whistles through his nose, okay? Capisce?

Sookie: Where's your pate?
Lorelai: At Zsa-Zsa's Gabor's house?
Sookie: Right. I'm going to the store because you have nothing. You like duck?
Lorelai: OOooohhh, if it's made with chicken, absolutely!

Hands in the air, not in the nose.

Miss Patty

Rory: So do you like cake?
Dean: What?
Rory: They make really good cakes here. They're very... round.
Dean: Okay, I'll remember that.
Rory: Good. Make a note. You wouldn't want to forget where the round cakes are (gets a did-i-just-say-that look on her face).

(to Dean) It's my mother's name, too. She named me after herself. She was lying in the hospital thinking about how men name boys after themselves all the time, you know, so why couldn't women? She says her feminism just kind of took over. Though personally I think a lot of Demerol also went into that decision. I never talk this much.

Rory

Rory: I can't believe tomorrow's my last day at Stars Hollow High.
Lorelai: I know.
Rory: Today I was so excited I dressed for gym.
Lorelai: You're kidding!
Rory: And I played volleyball.
Lorelai: With other people?
Rory: And I learned that all this time I've been avoiding group sports...
Lorelai: Yeah...?
Rory: ..it was very smart because I suck at them.
Lorelai: Well, you get that from me.

I love being a private school girl!

Rory

(Sookie feeds Lorelai a spoonful of sauce)
Lorelai: Oh, dear God Almighty. That's incredible!
Sookie: I want to put it on the waffles tomorrow morning for breakfast.
Lorelai: I want to take a bath in that sauce!
Sookie: I will make more!
Lorelai: Someday when we open our own inn, diabetics will be lining up for this sauce.
Sookie: Won't that be great?
Lorelai: Yeah, but the key to someday achieving that dream is for you to stay alive long enough so we can actually open an inn, you understand?

Lorelai: Hey, I had dibs on being the bitch tonight.
Rory: Just tonight?
Lorelai: What the hell's wrong with you?

Emily: Champagne, anyone?
Lorelai: Wow, that's fancy.
Emily: Well, it's not every day I have my girls here for dinner on a day the banks are open.

Rory: I'll tell all the ladies what a stud you are.
Michel: I believe that memo has already been sent.

Lorelai: (speaking to Luke) Wow, you look nice. Really nice.
Luke: I had a meeting earlier at the bank. They like collars. You look nice, too.
Lorelai: I had a flagellation to go to.
Luke: So, what'll you have?
Lorelai: Coffee, in a vat.
Rory: I'll have coffee also. And chili fries.
Luke: That's quite a refined palate you got there.
(Luke walks to the counter)
Lorelai: (to Rory) Behold the healing powers of a bath.

Gilmore Girls Quotes

(about the pants she's bought for Luke) I don't know what this fabric is, but I think I want to have its baby.

Lorelai

(to Rory) You can use your mother's old golf clubs. They're upstairs gathering dust along with the rest of her potential.

Emily