Gilmore Girls Season 1 Episode 15: "Christopher Returns" Quotes
Christopher: I can be a family man. I'm responsible now.
Lorelai: Honey, you can't even buy a book without having your credit card declined.
Christopher: I told Rory not to rat me out. I can't believe she did that!
Lorelai: She didn't. Andrew from the bookstore called, and Jackson, and the UPS guy, and ooh, it was the lead story on the Stars Hollow web page. Then I asked Rory, and she very reluctantly confirmed it. "Rat me out". What are you, 16?
Christopher: I'm sorry.
Lorelai: And what are you doing telling my daughter to lie to me, anyway?
Christopher: She's my daughter, too.
Lorelai: More like your playmate!
Rory: How's Diane?
Christopher: Diane is ancient history.
Rory: When I met her at Easter, you said she could be the one.
Christopher: The one to be gone by Memorial Day.
Rory: You're worse than Mom.
Lorelai: Low blow!
Christopher: Can't keep a feller happy?
Lorelai: Oh, I keep them happy. I keep them very happy.
Rory: Okay, now, don't get gross.
Luke: So, uh, where's the guy?
Lorelai: Oh he's gone.
Luke: Oh, too bad.
Lorelai: We'll be fine. Luke?
Luke: Yeah?
Lorelai: Um, can I make one more suggestion?
Luke: No.
Lorelai: Curtains?
Luke: No.
Lorelai: Manly curtains.
Luke: Oxymoron.
Lorelai: What did you call me? Luke: No curtains.
Lorelai: Aw come on. You gotta give a little. How about a tablecloth?
Luke:No. We don't do table cloths here.
