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Lorelai: Mom, you signed us up for a couple's massage.
Lorelai: A couple's massage is for a couple not a couple of people.
Emily: It's more efficient this way. We'll both be finished at the same time.
Lorelai: Mom, do you know what most people who get these massages do about five minutes after it's over? They have sex, together, probably while wearing their robes.
- Permalink: Mom, you signed us up for a couple's massage. So? A couple...
Rory: I just wanted to thank you.
Luke: For what?
Rory: The care package. It was really sweet.
Luke: What care package?
Jess: Uh, Luke, they're hitting the water line again.
Luke: What? Tom, you are dead. You hear me? Dead! (Goes off)
Jess: Wanna pay?
Rory: Funny, I don't think Luke knew anything about the food last night.
Jess: That'll be $12.50.
Rory: Which means you lied about why you came over.
Jess: I'm out of quarters, I'll have to give you nickels.
Rory: You wanted to come over!
Jess: I gotta get back to work.
Rory: You're squirming. I've never seen you squirm. It's entertaining.
- Permalink: I just wanted to thank you. For what? The care package. It w...
(Rory is trying to get Jess to leave)
Jess: Are you sure we couldn't sit down, have a little heart-to-heart? He'd tell me his issues, I'd tell him mine, we'd hug.
Rory: (opens door) Go.
Jess: (going outside) Okay, well give him my best...(sees Dean at bottom of steps) Actually, I think I might do that myself.
Rory: He just dropped by to give me some food.
Jess: From Luke's.
Rory: He wanted to make sure I ate.
Jess: Luke did.
Rory: Yeah, Luke did.
Jess: Personally, I could care less if she eats.
Jess:(sees what Dean's holding) And what's that? Aw, a little ice cream package just big enough for two. How sweet. (Dean glowers at Jess) Oh, now you're doing that towering-over-me thing. Huh. You've really got that down. It helps that you're like twelve feet tall, but add that Frankenstein scowl it's just.
Jess: Okay, I'm leaving. (starts to walk away, turns around and says to Dean) I really was just dropping off some food, so don't get all West Side Story on me, alright?
- Permalink: Are you sure we couldn't sit down, have a little heart-to-heart?...
(Dean and Lorelai watching through the window of Luke's Diner to Rory and Jess who are flirting)
Dean: Rory wouldn't lie, right?
Lorelai: No. Rory wouldn't lie.
- Permalink: Rory wouldn't lie, right? No. Rory wouldn't lie.
Emily: Why can't we have what you and Rory have?
Lorelai: Rory and I are different, Mom.
Emily: You're mother and daughter, we're mother and daughter, it shouldn't be that much different.
Lorelai: No, Mom, it is completely different.
Lorelai: I grew up in a different environment.
Emily: An oppressive environment?
Lorelai: No, Mom, a different environment, and plus I was so young when I had Rory.
Emily: So just because I waited until I was grown and married to get pregnant, I can't have a relationship with my daughter?
Lorelai: No, it's just...Rory and I are best friends, Mom. We are best friends first, and mother and daughter second, and you and I are mother and daughter all the time.
Emily: I wasn't taught to be best friends with my daughter. I did what I thought was best for you. I did what I thought I needed to do to protect you.
Lorelai: I know.
- Permalink: Why can't we have what you and Rory have? Rory and I are diffe...
Emily: (about Lorelai's shade of lipstick) That's a pretty color. What's it called?
Lorelai: "Vicious Trollop."
Emily: Now why do you say things like that? (Lorelai shows her the lipstick tube). Now why would you name a lipstick that?
Lorelai: Because "Dirty Whore" was taken.
- Permalink: That's a pretty color. What's it called? Vicious Trollop. ...
Luke: (to Rory) Did you find a nail in your food? (to construction worker) Tom, you're dead!
Rory: There's nothing wrong with my food.
Luke: Sorry, Tom!
- Permalink: Did you find a nail in your food? Tom, you're dead! There's n...
People just don't seem to realize that it takes years of practice to eat the way we do.Lorelai
- Permalink: People just don't seem to realize that it takes years of practic...
I'd better get going. I'm going to break out in rash any second.Paris
- Permalink: I'd better get going. I'm going to break out in rash any second.
Lorelai: Can we bribe you?
Lorelai: (pointing to Emily) Please? She's loaded!
- Permalink: Can we bribe you? No. Please? She's loaded!
(to Lorelai) You're muttering under your breath. Years of experience have taught me that when you do that, it's usually about me.Emily
- Permalink: You're muttering under your breath. Years of experience have tau...
Emily: They have cucumber slices in the water.
Lorelai: Oh, wow. Now if they have ranch dressing in the soap dispensers, this place is great.
- Permalink: They have cucumber slices in the water. Oh, wow. Now if they h...