Sookie: But, you're my best friend.
Lorelai: Yes, I am, and I can only remain your best friend as long as Jackson doesn't kill me.
Sookie: Lorelai!
Lorelai: Sookie, he's a produce man. They'll never find the body, but the squash'll be especially chatty that year.

Michel: And you must always be extremely careful of your paddle movements.
Lorelai: Well, that certainly calls for a 'Dirty!'

Michel: Always. You've got to be patient and wait for what you want to appear, then pounce.
Lorelai: Hm, true at an auction, true at a singles bar.

Luke: (Looks at the breast feeding lady) This cannot be sanitary.
Lorelai: You're right you don't know where those things have been.

Michel: Take me to the auction.
Lorelai: Michel.
Michel: Take me, I insist you take me.
Lorelai: You don't even know if it'll be any good. It's just Society Women.
Michel: If your mother's involved it will be impeccable, and I haven't been to an impeccable auction in over a year.
Lorelai: Well I don't know.
Michel: What do you want?
Lorelai: Michel, I don't want anything.
Michel: Stop playing coy with me. I want into that auction you name your price.
Lorelai: OK, you've got to work weekends for the rest of this month.
Michel: Done.
Lorelai: And you have to answer the phone when it rings.
Michel: Done.
Lorelai: And answer it in English unless the person is actually foreign.
Michel: Done.
Lorelai: And you have to oversee the nature hikers next week.
Michel: No.
Lorelai: Michel, if you want to go to this auction you have to be in the lobby at 6:00 Friday morning. You have to hand out towels and water bottles. You have to show them the hiking trails and let them give you a nature name.

Zack: You need to move back more.
Brian: Why?
Zack: Because when I do my double jump kick off the amp with slashing windmills, I'm gonna need more room.
Lane Kim: Well, don't do that, then.
Dave Rygalski: Yeah, sounds a little too Milli Vanilli.

Rick Bloomenfeld: KE-E-E-E-E-E-E-G!
Kyle: That's my cousin Rick. He just turned 21. Pretty awesome.
Rick Bloomenfeld: 21! Yeah!
Lane Kim: What is that - beer?
Zack: No, it's one of those milk kegs.
Brian: Ha. Good one.
Lane Kim: There's beer? Is that legal?
Dave Rygalski: Well, apparently, Rick is 21.
Rick Bloomenfeld: 21! WHOO-HOO!
Dave Rygalski: Or just really into that particular integer.

Lorelai: No, Luke, thanks for doing this. It's exactly what the contractor said. We just wanted a guy with a good butt's opinion.
Sookie: Yeah, Tom has a terrible butt.
Luke: Please stop that.

Luke: Back when I was on the track team, we went to State three times in four years, and won it twice. Think they made buttons and put up banners? They couldn't care less.
Lorelai: Luke, that's because track is for dorks.
Rory: Yeah, it's true. I'm sorry.
Luke: Okay, the conversing part of this morning is now over.

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