Lorelai: Have you seen Sookie or Jackson?
Luke: No, but have you tried the insane asylum, where everyone in this room is supposed to be.

Lorelai: My shoe broke! I need you to fix it!
Luke: Do I look like a cobbler to you?
Lorelai: If I say yes, will you fix my shoe?

Rory: Dean, please. This is a girl thing.
Dean: Okay. Tell me when I'm supposed to pay attention again.

Rory: There's this big event happening in my town.
Paris: Pig race?
Rory: Dance marathon.
Paris: I was close.

Rory: I can't even open my eyes.
Lorelai: That okay, there's nothing to see. Kirk's in a Speedo, Taylor's in a skirt, Al's in assless chaps.
Rory: Oh my God, stop! I'm never gonna be able to close my eyes again.

Luke: I think I have some glue back at the diner.
Lorelai: Glue, yes - we love glue!
Luke: I wouldn't say that too loudly if I were you.

Sookie: But, you're my best friend.
Lorelai: Yes, I am, and I can only remain your best friend as long as Jackson doesn't kill me.
Sookie: Lorelai!
Lorelai: Sookie, he's a produce man. They'll never find the body, but the squash'll be especially chatty that year.

Michel: And you must always be extremely careful of your paddle movements.
Lorelai: Well, that certainly calls for a 'Dirty!'

Michel: Always. You've got to be patient and wait for what you want to appear, then pounce.
Lorelai: Hm, true at an auction, true at a singles bar.

Luke: (Looks at the breast feeding lady) This cannot be sanitary.
Lorelai: You're right you don't know where those things have been.

Michel: Take me to the auction.
Lorelai: Michel.
Michel: Take me, I insist you take me.
Lorelai: You don't even know if it'll be any good. It's just Society Women.
Michel: If your mother's involved it will be impeccable, and I haven't been to an impeccable auction in over a year.
Lorelai: Well I don't know.
Michel: What do you want?
Lorelai: Michel, I don't want anything.
Michel: Stop playing coy with me. I want into that auction you name your price.
Lorelai: OK, you've got to work weekends for the rest of this month.
Michel: Done.
Lorelai: And you have to answer the phone when it rings.
Michel: Done.
Lorelai: And answer it in English unless the person is actually foreign.
Michel: Done.
Lorelai: And you have to oversee the nature hikers next week.
Michel: No.
Lorelai: Michel, if you want to go to this auction you have to be in the lobby at 6:00 Friday morning. You have to hand out towels and water bottles. You have to show them the hiking trails and let them give you a nature name.

Zack: You need to move back more.
Brian: Why?
Zack: Because when I do my double jump kick off the amp with slashing windmills, I'm gonna need more room.
Lane Kim: Well, don't do that, then.
Dave Rygalski: Yeah, sounds a little too Milli Vanilli.

Gilmore Girls Quotes

(about Max knowing his way around the kitchen)
Rory: He has much knowledge.
Lorelai: We shall form a cult around him.
Rory: Build a statue many stories high.
Lorelai: We shall grow our hair long and stop bathing.

Lorelai: Rory, I love you. I would take a bullet for you. But I'd rather stick something sharp in my ear than go to the club with you.
Rory: Fine.
Lorelai: I'd rather slide down a banister of razor blades and land in a pool of alcohol than go to the club with you.
Rory: I got it.
Lorelai: Don't stop me, I'm on a roll. I'd rather eat my own hand than go to the club with you. Ooh, I'd rather get my face surgically altered to look like that lunatic rich lady with the lion head than go to the club with you.
Rory: Would you like me to drive so you can continue your diatribe?
Lorelai: Would ya? Thanks. I'd rather cut off my head and use it as a punch bowl than go to the club with you.