Gilmore Girls

Gilmore Girls Quotes (Page 5)

Season 3 Episode 7: "They Shoot Gilmores, Don't They"

Lorelai: Hi there. Um, this is Rory Gilmore and I'm Lorelai Gilmore.
Nurse: Lorelai Gilmore?
Lorelai: Yeah, L - o - r . ..
Nurse: You don't look like you've recently suffered a face-altering car crash.
Lorelai: Uh, excuse me?
Nurse: You're also supposed to have buck teeth, a club foot, and alopecia.
Lorelai: Oh. I'm sorry, who told you this?
Nurse: My husband.
 • Rating: Unrated

(picking dance partners for Lorelai)
Luke: What about that one?
Lorelai: Hum not!
Luke: Why not?
Lorelai: Too pale
Luke: So what?
Lorelai: Pale means sickly.
Luke: Or sunscreen.
Lorelai: Or mad cows disease!
Luke: Pale does not mean mad cows disease!
Lorelai: Have you ever had mad cows disease?
Luke: Just twice last week and and my color was wonderful.
 • Rating: Unrated

Paris: But I already put him in my revenge notebook.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lorelai: Have you seen Sookie or Jackson?
Luke: No, but have you tried the insane asylum, where everyone in this room is supposed to be.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lorelai: My shoe broke! I need you to fix it!
Luke: Do I look like a cobbler to you?
Lorelai: If I say yes, will you fix my shoe?
 • Rating: Unrated

Rory: Dean, please. This is a girl thing.
Dean: Okay. Tell me when I'm supposed to pay attention again.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rory: There's this big event happening in my town.
Paris: Pig race?
Rory: Dance marathon.
Paris: I was close.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rory: I can't even open my eyes.
Lorelai: That okay, there's nothing to see. Kirk's in a Speedo, Taylor's in a skirt, Al's in assless chaps.
Rory: Oh my God, stop! I'm never gonna be able to close my eyes again.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Luke: I think I have some glue back at the diner.
Lorelai: Glue, yes - we love glue!
Luke: I wouldn't say that too loudly if I were you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Sookie: But, you're my best friend.
Lorelai: Yes, I am, and I can only remain your best friend as long as Jackson doesn't kill me.
Sookie: Lorelai!
Lorelai: Sookie, he's a produce man. They'll never find the body, but the squash'll be especially chatty that year.
 • Rating: Unrated

Rory: What is that stuff?
Lane: Eggless egg salad. Though this year my mom added food coloring to make the egg-like product look more eggy.
Rory: Smart.
Lane: And every sandwich comes with your own personal pamphlet "Dancing for the Devil", an illustrated look at the effect of dancing on your chances of spending all eternity in hell.
Rory: Boy, her flames are getting really good.
Lane: Well, she just bought a new color printer. You can do a ton of stuff with it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 6: "Take the Deviled Eggs..."

Luke Danes: What can I get you Kirk?
Kirk Gleason: Patty melt and a coke.
Luke Danes: You want the melt cut into squares or stars today?
Kirk Gleason: Half and half.
 • Rating: Unrated

Sherry Tinsdale: Green is the new pink!
 • Rating: Unrated

Luke Danes: [about Jess' new car] He paid you for it, right?
Gypsy: Nothing's free at Gypsy's.
Luke Danes: And he paid cash?
Gypsy: Mostly twenties.
Luke Danes: Did you make sure Andrew Jackson was on the bills, not Alfred E. Neuman or someone?
Gypsy: Looked real to me.
Luke Danes: Well when he took the money out of wherever he had it, did a mask or a gun fall out?
Gypsy: No, but he was carrying it in a canvas bag with a big dollar sign on it.
Luke Danes: Really?
Gypsy: No.
Luke Danes: Good.
Gypsy: Guys are stupid.
Luke Danes: What?
Gypsy: You strip your gears, ride your brakes. And if we don't laugh after we make a joke, you think we're serious.
Jackson Belleville: [from off camera] I don't ride my brakes!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 5: "Eight O'Clock at the Oasis"

Michel: And you must always be extremely careful of your paddle movements.
Lorelai: Well, that certainly calls for a 'Dirty!'
 • Rating: Unrated

Michel: Always. You've got to be patient and wait for what you want to appear, then pounce.
Lorelai: Hm, true at an auction, true at a singles bar.
 • Rating: Unrated

Luke: (Looks at the breast feeding lady) This cannot be sanitary.
Lorelai: You're right you don't know where those things have been.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michel: Take me to the auction.
Lorelai: Michel.
Michel: Take me, I insist you take me.
Lorelai: You don't even know if it'll be any good. It's just Society Women.
Michel: If your mother's involved it will be impeccable, and I haven't been to an impeccable auction in over a year.
Lorelai: Well I don't know.
Michel: What do you want?
Lorelai: Michel, I don't want anything.
Michel: Stop playing coy with me. I want into that auction you name your price.
Lorelai: OK, you've got to work weekends for the rest of this month.
Michel: Done.
Lorelai: And you have to answer the phone when it rings.
Michel: Done.
Lorelai: And answer it in English unless the person is actually foreign.
Michel: Done.
Lorelai: And you have to oversee the nature hikers next week.
Michel: No.
Lorelai: Michel, if you want to go to this auction you have to be in the lobby at 6:00 Friday morning. You have to hand out towels and water bottles. You have to show them the hiking trails and let them give you a nature name.
 • Rating: Unrated

Luke: You go make her stop.
Lorelai: I'm not going over there.
Luke: Why not? You're a woman.
Lorelai: So what?
Luke: So you have the same parts.
Lorelai: What?
Luke: You shouldn't be scared of it.
Lorelai: Scared of it? You know, you're gonna be a bachelor for a really long time.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 4: "One's Got Class and the Other One Dyes"

Lane: I have got to do something!
Rory: Run around the block!
Lane: Why?
Rory: I don't know!
Lane: Good enough for me. (dashes out of the room)
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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