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Why don't you just dress up as the taco bell chihuahua and bark the theme song to Dora the Explorer?


I spend the day vibrating with wide irrational rage.


Emma: You're being really mean.
Will: You got a pamphlet for that??!?

The proof's in the pudding. My pudding pretty much sucks.


I doubt your avian frame could withstand the rigors of childbirth.

Sue [to Emma]

Why are you being so weird and serious? Our periods don't come until the end of the month.


The English language lacks the requisite words to express just how much I dislike you.


Mercedes: Sam just Tweeted that I smelled good.
Sam: I won't stop until it's Trending.

I was spending to much time flossing, I was missing my life.

Dave Martinez
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