Serena: So you're going to let Chuck have the assistant position then.
Blair: I said civilized, not lobotomized.

Martha: Thank you. Good day Miss Waldorf. If you have any questions regarding the class, Mr. Bass will answer them.
Chuck: Actually it turns out Ms. Chamberlain's class is over-enrolled. You didn't make the cut. Sorry. Mmmm ... I almost forgot how much I used to enjoy your pie.

Tiffany: How do you go from Better Homes and Gardens to the NRA?
Blair: It's a short trip, believe me.

Nate: Thanks for coming with me man.
Dan: No problem. I shouldn't have told you about the cotton swab thing. That was insensitive.

Juliet: Okay, it says here that you both slept with Serena and Vanessa, and that Vanessa also slept with Chuck, who slept with Blair.
Nate: All that's on Gossip Girl?
Juliet: Yeah. She made a flow chart actually, which I have to say is very helpful.

A good scandal is one thing, but even Gossip Girl likes to keep things classy and somewhat true.

Serena

Serena: I mean who would lie to Gossip Girl about something like that?
Blair: Do you really want a list? Because I don't know if I have that kind of time.

Chuck: The dean's extended me the courtesy of auditing a few classes. He thought it important I get the feel for campus life before breaking ground on the new Bart Bass Memorial Rotunda.
Blair: The what?
Chuck: It's a building. With a circular ground plan. Usually covered by a dome.

Dan: You guys haven't ...
Nate: No. I spent the night at her place, but I took a page from the ol' Humphrey playbook and we just talked and played Scrabble.

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