Gossip Girl Round Table: "Goodbye, Columbia"

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Welcome back to another edition of TVF's Gossip Girl Round Table, where our panelists break down Monday's episode (see our review of "Goodbye, Columbia" earlier).

Below, Gossip Guy and Mister Meester and critic-in-chief DANdy take on topics ranging from classic quotes to love, war and plot lines with plausible deniability ...


1. What was your favorite Gossip Girl quote from last night?

Gossip Guy: The very beautiful Juliet's "She made a flow chart actually, which I have to say is very helpful." I love it when this show goes meta and makes fun of real life web postings by veiling them under Gossip Girl.

Mister Meester: Tie between Blair's "If only there were a device of some kind to keep the time" and Chuck's explanation of a rotunda is. So dry and passive-aggressively hilarious, since he knew that wasn't why she exclaimed "the what?!" Vintage Chuck.

DANdy: Courtesy of Serena: "Even Gossip Girl wants to keep things classy and somewhat true." Just like our friends at The Hollywood Gossip!

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2. This was the best episode of the season so far, right?

Gossip Guy: Right.

Mister Meester: Easily, and it elevated some of the previous weeks in the process. The Juliet story is finally getting good, and last night actually delivered some of the humorous zingers and OMFG twists that made the show can't-miss TV in the first place.

DANdy: Yes. It featured eye candy for the gals (hello, Sam Page!), eye candy for the guys (Katie Cassidy in lingerie!!!!!) and more underhanded activity than a slow-pitch softball game.

3. Which do you prefer, Chuck and Blair in love, or at war?

Gossip Guy: Definitely at war. Not surprisingly with these two, there's just so much more passion when they're at war. I know I'm ready to watch an old fashioned hate f**k.

Mister Meester: Like Better Homes & Gardens and the NRA, the line between the two is thin. I can't say enough how much I enjoyed the episode, though, so ... war. For now.

DANdy: You just don't understand, Round Table Question Guy. Chuck and Blair really are in love. They just show it in different, sometimes combative ways. Who are you to judge?!? Chair forever!

Dan Speaks

DAN'S THE MAN: Derena? Boring. Give us Date bromance any day!

4. Better bromance: Nate and Dan or Nate and Chuck?

Gossip Guy: Date has been going so strong I even forgot Nate and Chuck were introduced as besties during season one. Men can't get much closer than getting swabbed together.

Mister Meester: Dan's working his way up, but only Charles calls him Nathaniel.

DANdy: The former, no doubt. Nate and Chuck only share sexual partners. But Nate and Dan share hugs. Well, near hugs.

5. Harder to believe: That no one mentioned condoms at any point, the logistics of Chuck's undermining, or that people believed Juliet instead of Vanessa?

Gossip Guy: Haha, that's funny. The idea that someone would believe Vanessa. But, yeah, definitely the whole STD testing thing in general blew my mind. No mention of condoms. Or the fact that Nate spent an entire summer sleeping with random (presumably) prostitutes, and his concern was the fact he used to sleep with Serena? The way this whole crew sleeps around, there'd be a giant cesspool of STDs and illegitimate babies running amok. Yeah, I'm just jealous I'm not taking a swim. Particularly in the Serena end of the pool.

Mister Meester: The idea that condoms and STDs only came up now is pretty laughable, but to quote Blair, if you're looking for Gossip Girl plot holes, do you want a list? As long as the drama and suspense are this palpable and the schemes as diabolically complex as they were last night, I'm willing to suspend believability a bit.

DANdy: The condoms. Come on. They don't call her Serena MAN der Woodson for nothing! It's been clear since the pilot that Serena isn't, shall I say, shy around the opposite sex. Hard to believe Dan, Nate and company wouldn't protect themselves with her.

6. How do you feel about Jenny's return?

Gossip Guy: I'm going to allow the raccoon to come back, but only because she's arriving as Chuck's pawn in Chair's game. Besides, at least it looks like they swapped out V for her. They must have realize there's a cap of one annoying character per episode.

Mister Meester: About as good about it as Tim Gunn did after meeting Taylor Momsen. Oh, who am I kidding ... bring back devilish Little J and crank B's vengeance meter up to 11.

DANdy: At first, I wasn't a fan of it, but then I thought more and... oh no. I'll get back to you after I go vomit. Again.

What do you think? Sound off in the comments, and vote below!

Steve Marsi is the Managing Editor of TV Fanatic. Follow him on Google+ or email him here.


1. Tie between:
Blair's "I said civilized, not lobotamized."
Blairs "The only thing that will make you happy, you lost when you slept with Jenny Humphrey....and that was the best thing that happened for me..cuz I finally got over you." (YEAH! YOU GO GIRL!) 2. no, ep 2 is the best so far...but this was very entertaining. 3. .....at war, but as stated before, the scenes with real honesty between them trumps everything else....and if the writers could use a little imagination and write good sl's of people in love, I'm sure I would also enjoy that...but so far on this.......not so good 4. I like both friendships....but they really don't show too much of the Chate friendship any more...that in itself could be a great storyline, Chuck being jealous...cuz Dan and Nate have lots of other friends...but I think Nate is it for Chuck...(besides Blair, and thats in the trash for now)...you'd think he'd be more Jealous of the Date friendship. 5. Everyone believing Juliet over Vanessa....cone on now...they ALL know Vanessa for how many years? They barely know Juliet, and the short time they've been around her, she's already been caught scheming against them!...I mean I could see Nate Believing Juliet, because he is horny for her.but everyone else? especially DAN????? hasen't he known her almost all of his life? 6. Jenny's return is a welcome one...I am interested in which way she's gonna go...Good Jenny or Bad Jenny...I only hope..that if she chooses to be Bad Jenny... Blair takes her down...and eventually they make peace....But I will be really pissed if she gets the best of Blair...because they already have Chuck doing this...and I won't be able to believe she is really fierce, if everyone can get the best of her


the sarah palin remark was not funny and once again...not fitting for blair. i don't think that it's funny or cute to insult sarah palin every time you turn around. this is ridiculous!


Blair should just be more fierce, I miss bitch Blair. I have no problem with Chuck right now, Im glad he is back being fun, I just wish Blair was on top of her game too. GG and Chair work better when Chuck is being a jerk and Blair a bitch, see season 1. But now it looks like they want Blair to be a good person. BORING. At least Chuck will save the show


so glad to see i am not alone...chuck does not deserve blair. she deserves to meet a new guy. why do people keep flocking to serena but the only person blair can attract is chuck and he can take her or leave her? boooooo.... although not surprising that they can't write a strong male character to work against a strong female character...


1. first ep of the s that didnt have a fav quote.
2. nah, ep 2 is still my fav so far, but all eps in s4 so far are good. i liked how the story moved along in this ep but i think i enjoyed it least of all eps so far actually. but still, it didnt suck.
3. i like them best when theyre confronting each other honestly. i guess not love, not war but 'treaty'? guess you sorta need love and war both for that to happen. i'd like them to end in love tho. my fav chair moment of all time so far was the train station in ep 2.
4. nate and dan have been better friends so far, but i kinda like both bromances. chate did survive chuck sleeping with blair so that bromance is pretty solid. they come from the same social class and have a stronger history and prolly understand each other easier than date. if chate can come back without breaking up date, that would be great cuz chuck needs a friend hes tight with to knock some sense into him. besides, i miss chuck calling him nathaniel. lol.
5. i dunno they all seem fairly believable actually. maybe the fact that everyone believed j over v surprised me the most. but everyone was emotional and ready to believe anything and v did have the phone on her, but the scene coulda been better, more believable. condoms dont always guarantee protection so the more suprising thing to me was that nate didnt suspect j bein concerned about serena and not about his summer of prostitutes. chuck couldnt surprise me about anything he does, but i did think it was suspiciously familiar-- anyone, flashback to a blair trick on chuck in s.3?
6. yes yes yes yes yes


Blair was awful to Eva, but not awful enough to make Chuck hate her this bad. The whole 'war' drama felt sooooooo overkill, but then I realized something. This ep clarified something for me. Chuck doesn't hate Blair. He hates the fact that he loves her. He definitely sees that it wasn't Blair that drove Eva away. It was the Chair chemistry that did it, Eva said so. No wonder he's declared war. He's trying to kill whatever chemistry is left because he thinks it ruins his life. I don't think it's cool, but at least I understand it now. Thanks for the clues, writers. :) I MISS EVA! She was different, this ep felt dangerously close to an s.3 repeat without her. SOOOOOO glad Little J's coming back! Hopefully she'll keep s.4 the new season that it's trying so hard to be.


Episode was okay, but it did feel a bit 'patchy'-- incomplete, sort of like they needed this episode to happen in order to smoothly connect ep 4 to ep 6, but the episode itself can't really stand on its own like the others do. Eps. 2 and 3 are still my favorites so far. Juliet is like Georgina x 10. She's an absolute witch. Great for the plot, but very taxing emotionally. I know I'm not the only viewer that cried with Vanessa. Even though we're afraid Serena might be letting her resolution slip about staying single and serious, at least she seemed to be taking it slower than before. I know people can't change overnight, I still hope that ep. 6 shows that she just had a good talk with the guy, and then stuck with her resolve-- for once. I'm having a hard time reading Blair, but I really hope that it's her that takes out Juliet a few episodes down the road. I disagree with a lot of other people on here: I think she still has all the Blair Waldorf fight in her, she's just trying to figure out how to be a little more mature about it. And she's really trying to get as close as possible to peace with Chuck-- for what ever mixed reasons. Kudos for that. I don't think she's any less fierce, I think she's just growing up. I'm also having a hard time reading Chuck. I disagree that the "old Chuck" is back-- because the old Chuck loved Blair. But it seems like that Chuck died somewhere between the end of s. 3 and last ep. He never really got over her, it just seems like he just... stopped. As evil as this new 'old' Chuck is, he's just a shell. Writers, where's the real Chuck? What's going on in his mind? Is the human side of Chuck really completely dead now? That would be tragic. I hope not. Jenny is back. One word on that: AWESOME!!!!! She's a real dynamic character who never disappoints.


Great episode, except there was too much detail involved with the "who's got Serena's cell phone?" dance. They should have done that more smoothly, and with more questions left unanswered about who had access to the phone. All we really need to know is that V. is innocent and J. is a suspect. I love Juliet--best thing about the new season. We needed a new and semi-sympathetic villain to stir things up, and she fits the bill. It also seems totally appropriate that she's with Nate, and somehow this actress clicks well with GG. A new dimension for life at Columbia was also needed. I can't understand why they didn't send them all to Columbia last year anyway. Weird. The only fly in the pudding is the disgusting way they're handling the Blair.Chuck relationship. Chuck has prostituted Blair, for real, and thankfully she finally woke up to how twisted this was and ended it. Then she takes him back--okay, I get that she can't fight her feelings--only to be betrayed by the Jenny incident. And somehow... we're supposed to forget? We're supposed to think it's okay for Chuck to "declare war"? Chuck richly deserves every possible form of misery and torment that Blair can devise to heap upon him. It sickens me that the show doesn't seem to portray it this way. He loves her so much that was going to propose to her, and he knows how terribly he hurt her, and yet it's cool for him to screw some chick and then decide he loves another one, the next hour, day, or week? And he's angry when Blair reacts poorly? Come on, the whole credibility of this affair is dead. Let Blair move on to someone else already. Chuck just makes me ill, even though he's amusing. He can stay with Jenny for all I care.


I cant belive how dumb everyone is to not notice Juliet is being super shady!! Are they really THAT dumb?


Chuck and Nate as friends are better than Nate and Dan!

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Gossip Girl Season 4 Episode 5 Quotes

Serena: B, can I talk to you for a minute?
Blair: Yes. [to Minion #1] Five paces behind. For privacy. [to Minion #2] Ten for you.

Researching women of power so I can better forge my path to become one ... Sarah Louise Palin!? [to follower] Do you even want to be a minion?!