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Oh my God it's the Mandonna, let me hide under your unnecessary hat.

Max [to Alex]

Dave: I just thought it'd be better to have an actual professional, not somebody who wears a turtleneck he found on the ground.
Max: Aha! This is a mock turtleneck and I found it in the garbage.

I picked up my knitting again and you better believe I don't stick to conventional stitches.

Jane

Max: Dude I'm the Dave whisperer.
Dave: Yeah but can you do it for no money?
Max: I bartered for this outfit using only illegal Mexican candy, I think I got this.

I didn't understand the dog barking or the Puerto Rican guys playing checkers, but I have never seen you more comfortable on screen.

Penny

You know what else was a great choice? How you never had Dave say the name of the truck, it's like one of those bars that doesn't have a sign and only the cool people know about it.

Alex

You were absolutely know where Michigan is, you were an extra in 8 mile.

Brad [to Max]

It's called Hollywood, not Hollyfriends.

Max

I went playground, you went hairband.

Max

Damn you're one hot skinny little witch.

Brad [to Jane]

You're sweating on my bruschetta.

Jane [to Brad]

It's Miss Jackson if you're Va-nasty!

Brad
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 330 in total

Happy Endings Quotes

You're sweating on my bruschetta.

Jane [to Brad]

The weird part is, now that I have a guy, everybody wants to set me up. Oh I know Al! I should hook you up with one of my "extras."

Penny