Dave: Whore's bath?
Penny: Ah yeah David, I did take a whore's bath okay? I had a one night stand and didn't have time to shower so did I rub some dryer sheets on my pits and throw some water on my hush at Au Bon Pain? Yes I did.

My secret is so big that just the tip well be enough.

Penny

Dave: I just thought it'd be better to have an actual professional, not somebody who wears a turtleneck he found on the ground.
Max: Aha! This is a mock turtleneck and I found it in the garbage.

Max: Dude I'm the Dave whisperer.
Dave: Yeah but can you do it for no money?
Max: I bartered for this outfit using only illegal Mexican candy, I think I got this.

I didn't understand the dog barking or the Puerto Rican guys playing checkers, but I have never seen you more comfortable on screen.

Penny

You know what else was a great choice? How you never had Dave say the name of the truck, it's like one of those bars that doesn't have a sign and only the cool people know about it.

Alex

It's called Hollywood, not Hollyfriends.

Max

I picked up my knitting again and you better believe I don't stick to conventional stitches.

Jane

I went playground, you went hairband.

Max

Damn you're one hot skinny little witch.

Brad [to Jane]

You were absolutely know where Michigan is, you were an extra in 8 mile.

Brad [to Max]

You're sweating on my bruschetta.

Jane [to Brad]

Happy Endings Quotes

My secret is so big that just the tip well be enough.

Penny

Dave: Whore's bath?
Penny: Ah yeah David, I did take a whore's bath okay? I had a one night stand and didn't have time to shower so did I rub some dryer sheets on my pits and throw some water on my hush at Au Bon Pain? Yes I did.