House

House "Epic Fail" Quotes

Dr. Foreman: I brought you a doughnut. The florist was closed.
Thirteen: I'll get a vase and put it in water.
 • Rating: Unrated

Wilson: Did you even go to bed last night?
House: Bed is for sissies, unless you're having sex. In which case.. no, bed is still for sissies.
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Wilson: You said it was keeping your mind off the pain.
House: That was before I discovered the Biggest Loser marathon on cable. I like to pretend they can see me eating.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Wilson: Is that my laundry?
House: You were running out of socks for me to borrow.
 • Rating: Unrated

Taub: How did so many people get my personal email?
Foreman: The Internet is a magical place.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Thirteen: This might be the best thing I've ever eaten... and yes, I'm including what you're thinking about now.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

House: What do you expect? I'm an addict. I set everything at all 11.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

House: We flirted. We kissed. I fondled. I hallucinated [sex with you] and yelled it from the hospital balcony.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Foreman: I feel like Tom Brady's back-up.
Thirteen: Tom Brady's back-up now makes $10 million.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Wilson: How hard are you trying not to make a ball joke right now?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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