Dr. Foreman: You were right about the heart. Should have listened to you.
House: The correct phrasing would be, "I should always listen to you."

(about House) You did it to make his life better. It was a caring act. Which you did in a way that was immoral and illegal, but... baby steps.

Dr. Wilson

House: Why aren't you in my office?
Dr. Wilson: Because I know what the word "my" means?

House: Huh. I figured by now you'd be at the board in your monocle and jodhpurs.
Dr. Foreman: Yeah, you did something stupid. Quick, better mock someone.

My patient is opting into a handicap! It's an insult to all the other gimps out there.

Dr. Wilson: Uh, I'm not going to the bachelor party. Every time I go to one of your parties, I end up embarrassing myself in some new and unexpected way.
House: That whole thing with the duck was hardly unexpected.

House: So, and I see no logical way around this, if you want your marriage to matter, you have to be a wanton, trolling, muck-covered pig the day before.
Dr. Chase: You're evil. See ya.

The main reason my third wife and I eloped was to avoid House's bachelor party. Have you seen Caligula?

Dr. Wilson

Yeah, by all means abandon a great diagnostic theory because it's difficult to prove.

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