Dr. Cuddy: You'll figure something out. The two of you have a combined IQ north of 300
House: That's also true of five morons.

She's like the love child of Einstein and Mary Poppins.


Taub: Tonight after work, meet me at the basketball court in the gym.
Dr. Foreman: You do realize you're two and a half feet tall, right?
Taub: And white, and Jewish. It'd be very embarrassing. I get why you'd want to say no.

House: How mad would you be if I fired Masters?
Dr. Cuddy: Very. Unless you had cause. Real cause. Cause that a human being would consider cause.
House: Never mind, then.

E coli is found in animals. So unless he's drinking pork cider... pork cider! I need the number of the patent office.


Martha M. Masters. I'm Dr. House. This is the rest of the team. Boring, Bimbo, and Bite-Size. Martha enjoys quadratic equations, Italian frescoes, and her turn-ons include learning to be a doctor.


House: Black guy campaigning for the opposition? Does Obama know about this?
Dr. Foreman: I tried calling him on the brother hotline. He didn't pick up.

House: Just because my sausage has been filling your bun doesn't mean you get to decide what flavor chips I nosh on during the day.
Dr. Cuddy: Nope, I get to do that because I'm your boss.

Dr. Cuddy: What is that smell? Is it onions? Peppers? Oh, I know... it's a sausagefest.
House: Sausagefest implies multiples. Now, if you're talking about yardage, I'd have to agree.

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