Favorite How I Met Your Mother Quotes
That's how you do an evil laugh! Ciao for now.
Barney
Barney: What's that saying about two wrongs making a right?
Robin: Two wrongs don't make a right?
Barney: No that's not it.
Robin, I spent seven grand on merch. This is happening.
Barney
Barney: Please. You took out all the suspense. In a horror movie, the killer does not grab a bull horn and announce: "Attention unsupervised teens here at the lake house. At precisely 3 am, I'm gonna jump outta that closet right there and hack you all up with a machete. PS: Fire is my one weakness
Being in a couple is hard. And committing, making sacrifices, it's hard. But if it's the right person, then it's easy. Looking at that girl and knowing she's all you really want out of life, that should be the easiest things in the world. And if it's not like that, then she's not the one. I'm sorry
Marshall
Barney: Come on, Barney Stinson always turns it around.
Marshall: How?
Barney: Simple, I turned...it...around.
So this chick and I are going at it behind the Central Park Zoo, the bonobo chimps are giving us a standing O and just when I'm about to give her the same thing - what up?
Barney
Lily [on the phone]: Hey, baby. It's lunchtime, and I love you.
Marshall [on phone in front of co-workers]: I reciprocate in principle, although with the caveat that there seems to be a bit of a surplus here on my end.
Lily: No, I love you more.
Marshall: Do we need to get in a room together and bang this thing out? (pause) Those sound like agreeable terms, although I may need to adjust my briefs
Brunette: I don't know if you guys have ever seen Star Wars, but it's like Hoth out there.
Ted: Dibs.
Blonde: It reminds me of when I used to go sledding with my dad—before he left.
Barney: And dibs
The best baggage is "hates her dad, thinks she's fat when she isn't." Angry sexy on the first date, and by the time you mention breakfast, she's gone! Why do you guys even hang out with me?
Barney
That, my friends, is the dominator 5000, the best bull whip on the market according to my whip guy. Yeah, I have a whip guy. [makes whip sound]
Barney
Lily: Wait a minute. You're going to date two girls at once? Don't you think you should just choose one before it gets serious?
Ted: Define serious.
Lily: Well that's complicated. I guess you have to weigh expectations, emotional investments...
Marshall: Third base, serious at third base.
