How I Met Your Mother

How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS

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Something New
"Something New"

Mon, May 13

How I Met Your Mother "Bad News" Quotes

Marshall: My sperm is fine!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Marshall's Dad: We love you no matter what. So why don't you get back in that bathroom, pretend you're in high school and "blow dry your hair."
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Lily: He's going to masturbate!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Marshall: Tell him that I might not be able to give him a grandchild? I don't even know how to have that conversation.
Barney: I'll show you. Dad, uh there's something I need to tell you. It's going to come as a bit of a shock. You are speaking to the 2011 Tri County Laser Tag Co Champion.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Marshall: I'll give my dad a call after Dr. Stengal gives me the thumbs up.
Ted: Ew! He has to do that?
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0
Robin: I WISH I was the office slut.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Marshall: I'm freaking out, is there a chance I won't be able to have kids? I've been hit in the nuts a lot.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Barney: How you doing Lily? Should I have a boner?
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0
Lily: This is bad news; this is like a black cat walked through my uterus.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Lily: How did you do it?
Barney: Oh god you found one of the cameras.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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Total Quotes: 11
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