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Lily: Do you think we look young enough to blend in at a high school?
Barney: Please, I'm ageless. Scherbatsky just needs a good night's sleep and you've got statutory written all over your body.
- Permalink: Do you think we look young enough to blend in at a high school? ...
Lily: Your job is very simple. At the wedding, do not sleep with anyone even remotely related to me.
Barney: Yea. Lily, you know I can't promise that
- Permalink: Your job is very simple. At the wedding, do not sleep with anyon...
Robin: I never got to go to my prom; we always had field hockey nationals in the spring.
Barney [coughs and then waits to say]: Lesbian!
Robin: The cough was supposed to cover the lesbian.
Barney: No, I'm trying to start a thing where the cough is separate
- Permalink: I never got to go to my prom; we always had field hockey nationa...
Nerd: Hey, you ladies want something to take the edge off?
Robin: What the hell, it's prom. [takes a drink] That tastes like cough syrup!
Nerd: Yeah, we couldn't get any alcohol. Our fake IDs said we're only 20, and we didn't realize it until after we bought them.
Robin: Nerds who aren't good at math? Life is going to be rough boys
- Permalink: Hey, you ladies want something to take the edge off? What the ...
Scooter: You're breaking up with me?
Lily: There is so much I still want to do. I want to travel, live overseas, as an artist, maybe have a lesbian relationship, plus I think I was just dating you because you look a little like Kurt Cobain.
Scooter: I can change; I can look more like Kurt Cobain
- Permalink: You're breaking up with me? There is so much I still want to d...
Nerd: So what's the deal here, am I getting lucky tonight?
Robin: Oh, Shawn, look, umm, you're a nice guy but I just don't...
[he throws up on her]
Robin: No, you're not getting lucky tonight
- Permalink: So what's the deal here, am I getting lucky tonight? Oh, Shawn...
Robin: Okay, I've missed you. Not in a we're going to make out way. Not even in an I forgive you way, just in an "I've missed you" way.
Ted: I'll take what I can get
- Permalink: Okay, I've missed you. Not in a we're going to make out way. Not...
Ted: So how was your first prom?
Robin: You tell me. I hated my dress. My date got wasted and puked on me. There was a huge fight. And I kissed a girl.
Ted: So basically, it was a prom
- Permalink: So how was your first prom? You tell me. I hated my dress. My ...
Lily & Robin: (to Barney about their prom dresses) Alright, what do you think?
Lily: (disgusted) You'd make such a great dad.
Barney: It's so classy and nice; you're going to stick out like a sore thumb. Have you seen how the kids are dressing these days? With the Ashley, and the Lindsay and the Paris. They all dress like strippers. It's go ho or go home.
Lily: Well we have to get in. I have to see this band because we have to make a decision by Monday because I'm getting married in 71 days and we still...
Robin: (cutting off Lily's panicked rant) Shhh shhhh. Sweetie, let's focus on one thing at a time, okay? Right now you just have to dress like a whore and that's it.
Barney: That's the spirit. Now ladies, slut up!
- Permalink: (to Barney about their prom dresses) Alright, what do you think?...
Lily [to nerds]: Hey boys, wanna take two hot girls to the prom?
Nerd: Sorry, we don't have money.
Robin: It's free.
Nerds: Okay then
- Permalink: Hey boys, wanna take two hot girls to the prom? Sorry, we don'...
Barney: Guys, I just tasted an amazing caterer.
Lily: We already have a caterer.
Barney: Oh right! You're getting married. [to Ted] You see what I did there?
- Permalink: Guys, I just tasted an amazing caterer. We already have a cate...
Even if a dinosaur should poke his head out of my butt and consume this coffee table, I need you to roll with it.Lily
- Permalink: Even if a dinosaur should poke his head out of my butt and consu...