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Robin: I know what they were fighting about and it wasn't peanut butter.
Ted: I appreciate it, but there's a reason your name is Robin, not Batman.
Robin: They were fighting because they didn't get the loan and it's all Lily's fault.
Robin: Yeah, she has a pile of debt the size of Mount... Rushmore.
- Permalink: I know what they were fighting about and it wasn't peanut butter...
Ted: There was a fight here.
Barney: What do you mean?
Ted: Whenever Marshall and Lily have a big argument, they always leave a trail of evidence all over the apartment.
Robin: Oh, God, here we go. He had a detective club as a kid.
Ted: Uh, the Mosby Boys cracked a lot of big cases.
Robin: The Mosby Boys? You mean you and your sister?
Ted: We solved the mystery of the missing retainer.
Robin: Let me guess: it was in the garbage?
Ted: Why are you like this?
- Permalink: There was a fight here. What do you mean? Whenever Marshall ...
Robin: What the hell are you doing? You can't buy this place. Lily, you have a debt the size of Mount Waddington.
Robin: It's the tallest mountain in Canada. It's like 4000 metres high.
- Permalink: What the hell are you doing? You can't buy this place. Lily, you...
Lily: Hi. My name is Lily, and I'm a shopaholic.
Robin: Hi, Lily. Oh, you guys don't do that here? Sorry. Proceed.
Lily: I buy designer clothes and accesories that I can't afford. I have fifteen credit cards and they're all maxed out. And nobody outside this room, not even my husband, knows and I feel terrible because all I want to do right now is ask you where you got those shoes, they're adorable!
- Permalink: Hi. My name is Lily, and I'm a shopaholic. Hi, Lily. Oh, you g...
Marshall: Ted, how many times have I told you to put the lid back on the peanut butter jar?! It's this inconsiderate, immature jackassry that makes me feel like I'm living in The Real World House! And not the early days when they all had jobs and social consciences, I'm talking about Hawaii, and after! I can't take it anymore! Ted, Lily and I are married now! It's time! We're getting our own place!
Lily:... Actually, I left the lid off, sorry, baby
- Permalink: Ted, how many times have I told you to put the lid back on the p...
Barney: I met a girl last night. So perky and full of life and not at all fake.
Ted: You're talking about her boobs, right?
Barney: C. And that wasn't Spanish, that was cup size. What up?
- Permalink: I met a girl last night. So perky and full of life and not at al...
Meg: Yeah, I thought I was gonna get married to my last boyfriend. Boy, did that guy have committment issues. That whole relationship? That's three weeks of my life I'll never get back.
Barney: Well, I love committment. I wish I could marry committment.
- Permalink: Yeah, I thought I was gonna get married to my last boyfriend. Bo...