How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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Christmas is a time when people are lonely and desperate, it's the most wonderful time of the year

Barney

When you walk through the door, does it feel like you are being slapped in the face by Christmas?

Marshall

Barney: This is a low moment for the Barnacle. I should be off playing laser-tag right now but instead ... don't look at me, I'm hideous.
Robin: You just look like a regular guy.
Barney: Exactly, I'm a Ted! I'm wearing elastic waist fleece pants

Oh Robin, my simple friend from the untamed north. Let me tell you about a little thing I like to call 'mind over body' ... You see, whenever I start feeling sick, I just stop being sick and be awesome instead. True story

Barney

Robin: Barney! What the hell are you doing? Get in here, it's freezing outside. Are you insane?
Barney: Blame Lily and her oppressive no-cigars-in-the-appartment-rule. God, it's like Marshall is marrying the Taliban.
[Barney sneezes on his hand]
Barney: High-five.
Robin: Ewww, no. Look, you have to go home and get to bed

I'm fine. My nose is just overflowing with awesome and I had to get some of it out

Barney [after blowing his nose]

[after Ted tells Barney what he called Lily]
Barney: Ted Vivian Mosby!
Ted: That's not my middle name..
Barney: You kiss your mother with that mouth?
Ted: Like you've never said that word?
Barney: I don't kiss your mother with my mouth, yet...

Displaying all 7 quotes

How I Met Your Mother Season 2 Episode 11 Quotes

I'm fine. My nose is just overflowing with awesome and I had to get some of it out

Barney [after blowing his nose]

[after Ted tells Barney what he called Lily]
Barney: Ted Vivian Mosby!
Ted: That's not my middle name..
Barney: You kiss your mother with that mouth?
Ted: Like you've never said that word?
Barney: I don't kiss your mother with my mouth, yet...