Robin [at Marshall's Cat in the Hat hat intervention]: Dear Marshall,I do not like that stupid hat.
I want to beat it... with a bat.
Or maybe stab it with a fork.
It makes you look like such a dork
• Rating: 10.0 / 10 • Permalink
Ted [about his intervention]: What was it for? The Crocs? The hair product?
Marshall: Not Stella.
Ted: Oh, my God, this was about Stella.
Marshall: I just said, "not Stella," so maybe it was about your poor listening skills, Ted.
Ted: What?
Marshall: It's out of control, see?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Barney: Marriage is stupid! Every year there are a million new, hot, 22-year-olds walking into bars, and call me "glass-half-full," but I think they're getting dumber
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Ted: Robin, could I hear yours?
Robin: "Dear Ted, it's 'encyclo-pee-dia', not 'encyclo-pay-dia'. Why do you always say things in the most pretentious way possible? It makes you sound douchey—and that's 'douch-ey', not 'douch-ay'."
Ted: Yeah, you already read that one at my Pronunciation intervention. Where's the letter about Stella?
Robin: I didn't write one. I'm your ex-girlfriend. I figured anything I said on the subject would sound catty. Plus, I'm hotter than her, so who cares?
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Robin: Stella's not gonna let you keep half of this junk.
Ted: Why wouldn't she?
Lily: Oh, Ted, oh, sweetie. Okay, here's the thing that guys only learn after they move in with a woman. All of your stuff is stupid
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Robin: I'm moving to Japan. It took me a half hour to pack.
Lily: A half hour?
Robin: Well, it would have taken me 20 minutes, but a friend called me in tears
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Barney [dressed in old man costume]: In a few minutes, the young me from your time is going to come through that door. Now, Cindy, I know this sounds insane, but in order to save the planet, you need to sleep with him tonight.
Cindy: What? I...
Barney: Sleep with Barney Stinson tonight, in whatever way he wants it, or he won't be able to find the solution to global warming that saves the human race
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Total Quotes: 7
