Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How-i-met-your-mother

I've seen barney try really hard to get women, I've seen barney try really hard to get rid of women, but I've never seen barney try so hard to keep a woman

Ted [to Robin]

When you date someone it's like you're taking a class in them and when you break up it's like all that knowledge is useless. It's the emotional equivalent of an English degree

Ted

Ted: Pop quiz. When robin is PMSing what kind of chocolate should youg et her?
Barney: Trick question. Get her butter scotch.
Ted: Correct. Why?
Barney: Butter scotch is to Canadian women what chocolate is to American women

I can't believe I'm taking sexual advice from Ted Mosby, that's like taking fashion advice from well... Ted Mosby

Barney

If you ever see this face, whatever you do, run and do not take a picture or she will punch you.. and you will cry.. for the third time... that night

Ted [about a picture of Robin with nostrils flaring]

Ted: You were like the worst student in the world, weren't you?
Barney: They said I AD...something... can we have class outside?

Don't cry in front of her, and whatever you do, don't cry in front of her four times

Ted [about Robin]

Funny thing, and this is just me, I like my balls attached to my body instead of rolling around next to some eyeliner in Robin's purse. Stinson out.

Barney
Displaying all 8 quotes

How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Episode 3 Quotes

Don't cry in front of her, and whatever you do, don't cry in front of her four times

Ted [about Robin]

Funny thing, and this is just me, I like my balls attached to my body instead of rolling around next to some eyeliner in Robin's purse. Stinson out.

Barney
x Close Ad