How I Met Your Mother

Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
How i met your mother
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I bad for any woman with the kind of low self-esteem that would actually date a guy like that.

Don

[drunk, on phone] Hey Robin, it's Teddy Bear. Need a little honey? Rawwwr.

Ted

[drunk, on phone] Hey Robin, it's Barn Door. Guess what, I'm open!

Barney

Our new sleeping arrangement will only bring us closer together. Now get out of my bed.

Marshall

Barney: I stand by what I did. It was bold and romantic.
Ted: You soiled yourself from both ends of your body.

[after reading his letter] There's just a bunch of drawings of boobs.

Barney

Don: Guys, I came to apologize. I overreacted.
Barney: It's okay. We said some very hurtful things.
Don: No you didn't.
Barney: Right, that was after you left.

I must have Robin back.

Barney

Lily: I think we should get separate beds.
Marshall: YES! A mini-fridge! And separate beds.

Marshall: We slept for 18 hours.
Lily: We lost four pre-paid meals.
Marshall: I lost 11 pounds.

Ted: You're moving in with him?
Robin: I'm considering it.
Barney: You're considering it? You barely know him! Plus, he's a loser with a dead end job!
Robin: We have the same job.

Barney: So I'm banging this Portuguese contortionist, right, and she's so flexible that at one point she was both on top of me AND underneath me. Up top AND down low! Who needs drinks?
Ted: [to Don] He means well ... actually I'm not sure if that's true.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 13 in total

How I Met Your Mother Season 5 Episode 21 Quotes

Barney: So I'm banging this Portuguese contortionist, right, and she's so flexible that at one point she was both on top of me AND underneath me. Up top AND down low! Who needs drinks?
Ted: [to Don] He means well ... actually I'm not sure if that's true.

I didn't know the Jets had new costumes.

Ted