Hung

Hung Season 1 Quotes

Season 1 Episode 10: "A Dick And A Dream or Fight The Honey"

Tanya: Don't you wanna bring happiness to the world on some level?
Ray: Sure. But for now, I'll settle for employment.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ray: I used to have a family. I used to have a wife, kids, a house, a job. Now, well, now I have my d**k. A d**k and a dream. If that's not the American way, what is?
 • Rating: Unrated

Ray: (voice-over) There are moments in your life when you realize God is joking. He's up there. Hell, maybe She's up there, laughing her head off. Either way, you're f**ked.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tanya: (to Ray) You ever been in a threesome? Everyone I've ever been in, the other two people screw while all I do is bring them water.
 • Rating: Unrated

Mrs. Koontz: You know, Ray, sometimes in life, it's best to forget the big problems and just f**k for a little while.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lenore: We all bring strengths to the table. For example, I bring a business head. You, Tanya, bring a strong sense of ethics and Ray brings a big d**k. We can be like the Three Musketeers.
Tanya: Lenore, Ray is my prostitute!!
 • Rating: Unrated

Lenore: You need a professional. A sex therapist.
Jessica: You're right. I do. I, I, I need a, uh, a person to talk to about all of my issues.
Lenore: And by sex therapist, I mean someone who will f**k you so good, you don't care what your husband does... or doesn't do.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ray: The pimp job. It means a lot to her [Tanya].
Lenore: Well, winning Ms. Michigan meant a lot to me, but I had to realize it wasn't my destiny.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lenore: Your vagina is like a car battery. You've got to keep it charged.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Lenore: Look around you, Ray. Most of these women have more money than they know what to do with. And their husbands are either too old or or too busy to get erections.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 9: "This Is America or Fifty Bucks"

Lenore: I'm taking a little survey. Can you have an orgasm from just c**k or do you need a guy to go down on you to get off?
Jessica: I can't answer that.
Lenore: I've asked a bunch of my clients. Seems like the ratio is 60-40 tongue to d**k. Well?
Jessica: Tongue helps.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lenore: You don't need to like the lady. You just need to... like the cash.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lenore: Listen, not all women can come from just d**k alone.
Ray: I haven't heard any complaints.
Lenore: That you know of.
 • Rating: Unrated

Tanya: (making a sales pitch) I know the economy is collapsing, But heck, when you look back at your life, do you really want to say to yourself, 'Damn it! I was such a fuddy-duddy. I never once paid for sex. Not even once.'
 • Rating: Unrated

Tanya: Ray, I don't think it sounds right when you say, 'My kid's a gay.' Just, 'My kid's gay.
 • Rating: Unrated

Patty: Well, having sex with that guy [Ray] is like doing coke. It's expensive, but you really want it, so you buy it and then you get this huge awesome rush.
Tanya: That's a good thing, right? A huge awesome rush.
Patty: But then you come down from your high and you're broke and you feel even lonelier and more pathetic than you did before and you wanna kill yourself.

 • Rating: Unrated

Damon: Powell's not into labels, Dad. And quite frankly, neither am I.
Ray: Okay, Damester. (voice-over) Now, I'm not above admitting George Clooney is a handsome man, but this was a whole other thing.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 8: "Thith Ith a Prothetic or You Cum Just Right"

Tanya: How come you never called me after that first night? I mean, other than you think that I come too much.
Ray: I think you come perfect. I... I think you come just right.
Tanya: Thanks.
 • Rating: Unrated

Pierce: I was a vegetarian once, and then I realized that if fish was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for Pierce.
 • Rating: Unrated

Horny Patty: Oh, I'm having a good time.
Ray: Good.
Horny Patty: Let's f**k.
Ray: Well.
Horny Patty: That's something else I never say. God it's sounds so great.
Ray: Shit, you can say it again if you want to.
 • Rating: Unrated

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