It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXPopular It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia Quotes
Charlie my boy, you got the gun fever.
Mac
Oh my God, Charlie, I shot you in your head! I am so sorry!
Dennis
Mac: We need to be rational.
Charlie: All right, all right.
Mac: Okay, I thinks it's clear what needs to happen.
Dee: What?
Mac: We need to buy a gun!
Mac: You are such a dildo, dude.
Dennis: Thanks, dude, thanks. That's a good way to start the day.
If that log was trying to rob the place, you totally would've killed it.
Dennis
Dee: We talked about it, and we decided that we need to get rid of that gun.
Dennis: Oh, oh, the gun...yeah, we're getting rid of the gun.
Mac: You could have been killed. Dennis could have killed you.
Charlie: Okay, good, yes, I think that would be for the best... ah...mm...Dee, could you get me a nurse?
Dee: Yeah, sure. [exits]
Charlie: Tell me we're not getting rid of that gun.
Mac: No way!
Dennis pulls gun out of his pants]: Never.
Dee: Oh, you are being ridiculous. He's a professional football player.
Mac: No, look, I'm not talking about killing the guy. I'm just talking about going up there with a group of dudes and intimidate him, maybe break his arm.
Dee: You can't break Tom Brady's arm.
Mac: Oh yes, I can! No more Super Bowls for that pretty boy.
I have a little bit of a problem with old people...I find them kinda creepy...and scary. And gross, kinda gross. It's their hands really, you can see right through 'em and all their inside business.
Dee
Great. Great for you. You must be really proud of yourself. Awesome, (hands Dennis a photo) your grandfather's a Nazi.
Mac
Charlie: I'll tell you what. I'll go with you, but you have to let me borrow your car any time I want.
Dee: No
Charlie: Every now and then...
Dee: No
Charlie: One time.
Dee: All right.
Charlie: And, you have to take me to lunch twice a week for a year.
Dee: No, I don't.
Charlie: Once a week.
Dee: Mmm-mm.
Charlie: Today.
Dee: Okay
There are, like, so many medals in there, dude. This guy was probably like King nazi.
Charlie
Mac: He doesn't have any poison.
Charlie: I don't have any on me, but I do keep some in my fridge at home in the relish jar.
Frank: There's poison in that jar? I thought I was allergic to pickles. What's in the jar with the skull and crossbones?
Charlie: Well that's mayonnaise. It's a decoy.
Frank: And the mayo?
Charlie: That's shampoo.
Frank: You're telling I've been putting shampoo on my sandwiches?
Charlie: If you've been using the mayonnaise, then yeah, probably.
