How the hell did I wake up and my hair still done?

Pauly D

Ronnie: Angelina cheated on Jose.
Sammi: Ronnie told Jose she was his boo. But then she smashed Vinny. Therefore, if she says she's my friend, that means she's not my friend.
Ronnie: We really need to improve our school system.

I hate that guys can [smash lots of people], but girls can't.

Angelina

[on the bed] My children, Pauly's children, Snooki juice.

Ronnie

Pauly D: I almost seen your cooca!
Snooki: My cooca's out!

Every month, there's a situation.

The Situation

The Situation: Shut your mouth you dirty little hamster.
Angelina: You look like Popeye on crack.
The Situation: You look like a ho.
Angelina: You're a dirtbag and your penis should fall off.

Angelina: I threw away garbages!
The Situation: Garbages?

I'm done! I'm outta here, I'm done!

Tom

Jose is definitely getting played. (pauses) Like a piano.

Ronnie

Jersey Shore Season 2 Episode 9 Quotes

The Situation: Shut your mouth you dirty little hamster.
Angelina: You look like Popeye on crack.
The Situation: You look like a ho.
Angelina: You're a dirtbag and your penis should fall off.

I'm done! I'm outta here, I'm done!

Tom