Popular Louie Quotes
Well you know, you're the hip guy, the cool guy. That used to be me. But then you gotta do 14 minutes a night, every single night. Nobody's hip every single night.
Jay Leno
Just because you like to hang out in your underwear on your couch doesn't mean the United States of America wants to see it.
Jack Dahl
Now, have you ever had experience being funny?
Dahl [To Louie]
Tell the truth. You're scared. You're a rookie. You're like some kid at a talent show with a number pinned to his shirt.
Dahl [To Louie]
You know what your problem is? You're just a... pencil... penis... parade
Tune in every night, folks. It's the Crying Cleaning Lady show!
Dahl
"Sh*t on my father's balls. Sh*t."
Funnyman, listen up. We're taking the kids down to Mexico to see your abuelita. We're staying at the Casa Grande Hotel. It's got a heated pool, hot wings on tap. Now I got you a first class ticket out of that left wing Kennedy Airport and you must come, I will not take 'no' for an answer.
Doug
Female Anchor: That's right. Statistics show that New Year's Eve is when people are most likely to commit suicide. More than 500 New Yorkers are expected to take their own lives tonight, especially those who are spending New Year's Eve by themselves.
Male Anchor: All by themselves.
Female Anchor: With no one by your body.
Male Anchor: Go ahead and put that gun in your mouth.