Louie

Mondays 10:30 PM on FX
Louie
TV Fanatic Works Better with Prime Instant Video
Try it Now for Free and Instantly Watch Louie.

Okay, I'm gonna come out and I'm gonna tell ya, I'm asking you out. That's what I'm doing, but please don't answer yet. Because I know you have a 'no' cued up in your head already. But please will you let me say a few things. I know that being a woman in New York must be hard because it's disappointing maybe because you try to be nice to men as human beings and they respond by torpedoing towards your vagina. I want you to know that I'm aware that you're young and beautiful and I'm not either of those things. And part of me knows that as soon as my lips stop moving that you'll say no. But please think of the fact that it's low risk what I'm asking. Ya just come out with me for a drink and even if you got up and left in the middle of the one drink, I wouldn't hold it against you. So, just make a judgment based on that nothing horrible would happen. If you came out with me, I think you're so attractive. I'm attracted to you because you're nice and you're a decent person and other reasons that you want people to be attracted to. Also, you're horribly cute. I mean, you're cute as hell. I grow on people. On women. Some time goes by you get past the bald head and I sweat a lot and I'm lumpy. I've run out of things to say. Can you tell me now?

Louie

Clerk [re: a book for Louie's daughter which he says she hasn't read yet]: Okay, give her this and tell her not to read it at night because it's too scary. The idea is that she will read it at night. It will be like a really wrongful thrill for her.

Jesus, now I'm all dicked up in the head. Thought it was simple with you.

Maria

Like I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson. I don't know her. I never met her or saw her in person. But I just know. Come on. I just know that would be the greatest thing to ever happen to me. And the worst thing to ever happen to her. I don't even jerk off to her - that's how much I like her.

Louie

"You have to examine yourself once in a while, you can't just say, 'I voted for Obama, I can't be prejudice, it's impossible.'

Louie
Displaying all 5 quotes

Louie Season 3 Episode 4 Quotes

Like I want to fuck Scarlett Johansson. I don't know her. I never met her or saw her in person. But I just know. Come on. I just know that would be the greatest thing to ever happen to me. And the worst thing to ever happen to her. I don't even jerk off to her - that's how much I like her.

Louie

"You have to examine yourself once in a while, you can't just say, 'I voted for Obama, I can't be prejudice, it's impossible.'

Louie