Mondays 10:30 PM on FX

In 10 years, you're gonna be teaching comedy at a community college and you'll be falling asleep to the Late Show... with Jerry Seinfeld. You're circling failure in a rapidly declining orbit.

Garry Marshall

Shit... there's not even enough time to jerk off.


Just don't clean here ever again.

Louie [after Housekeeping calls despite do not disturb sign]

They're all the same. They're all made from the same Asian suffering. There's no difference

Louie [on getting the best machine]

You have to do research. You have to go on Amazon and read a really long review written by an insane person... who's been dead for months because he shot his wife and then himself after explaining to you that the remote is counterintuitive. It's got really small buttons on the remote he said before he murder-suicided his whole family.

Louie [on consumerism being a job]

Louie [on when Afghanistan kids find out about war] They find out. They find out when they ask, "How come Uncle Henry's head is gone now?"

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