I'm fairly confident that Dad's proudest moment was when you finally took off the flame-red unitard

Claire [to Mitchell]

• Permalink: I'm fairly confident that Dad's proudest moment was when you fin...
• Added: November 05, 2009

Haley is so pretty. So she can meet someone who's the best at something

Phil

• Permalink: Haley is so pretty. So she can meet someone who's the best at so...
• Added: November 05, 2009

Phil [about Luke]: I'm telling you that kid is a genius, there's a rainmaker
Claire: Why is your iPod in your mouth?
Luke: I'm charging it
Claire: Alex. Alex!

• Permalink: I'm telling you that kid is a genius, there's a rainmaker Why ...
• Added: November 05, 2009

Mitchell: You had your own moments. You had cheerleading, and high school plays, and making out with the quarterback...
Claire: Oh come on, you made out with him, too.
Mitchell: Yeah, but we had to keep it a secret.

• Permalink: You had your own moments. You had cheerleading, and high school ...
• Added: November 05, 2009

Gloria: So take back your sword and go fight this sword like a bull!
Manny: Okay.
Gloria: I can't hear you.
Manny: Okay!
Jay: I can't hear you!
Manny: That's really as loud as I can go.

• Permalink: So take back your sword and go fight this sword like a bull! O...
• Added: November 05, 2009

Luke already is the best at something. Being my son ... That sounded a lot less lame in my head.

Claire

• Permalink: Luke already is the best at something. Being my son ... That sou...
• Added: November 05, 2009

Mitchell: Just the emerald city at the end of my yellow brick road
Cameron: Wow you did it
Mitchell: What?
Cameron: You made figure skating sound even gayer.

• Permalink: Just the emerald city at the end of my yellow brick road Wow y...
• Added: November 05, 2009

We were called "Fire and Nice." I was "Fire" because of the red hair and Claire was "Nice" because it was ironic and she wasn't.

Mitchell

• Permalink: We were called Fire and Nice. I was Fire because of the red hair...
• Added: November 05, 2009

Mitchell: You always take this a little too far. Your nephew's first birthday.
Cameron: That's not fair.
Mitchell: You brought a wind machine.
Cameron: Who puts wheels on cribs?

• Permalink: You always take this a little too far. Your nephew's first birth...
• Added: November 05, 2009

Jay: When I first heard Manny wanted to fence I was like sure, uncoordinated kid, lethal weapon, how could this go wrong?
Gloria: What do you think now?
Jay: I'm proud of our little Zorro

• Permalink: When I first heard Manny wanted to fence I was like sure, uncoor...
• Added: November 05, 2009

Alex: Did you know fencing goes back to the 12th century?
Haley: You know what's even nerdier than fencing? knowing when it began
Luke: I don't think you're a nerd, Alex
Alex: Shut up dork

• Permalink: Did you know fencing goes back to the 12th century? You know w...
• Added: November 05, 2009

Gloria [about Manny]: It's in his blood. His father was a master swordsman. He was an artist with his sword! I mean, the way he throws the sword, I mean, he was legendary
Jay: You know it's a nice moment I'm having with your son, you're kind of wrecking it

• Permalink: It's in his blood. His father was a master swordsman. He was an ...
• Added: November 05, 2009