Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

People are who they are, give or take 15 percent. That's how much people can change if they really want to.

Mitchell

My gaydar is never wrong and it is pinging like we're at a bathhouse.

Mitchell

Mitchell [on burning flowers and Cameron]: Look at that: two things flaming at once.

I have this theory that Phil purposely installs complicated technology so he has a reason to talk to me like I'm a child.

Claire

Claire: Who's our dumbest kid?
Phil: Luke.

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