Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC

10 days on the road with those kids? Winnebag-no.


Jump, swim, now give me your best Beyonce.


Cam: You know what we don't have in this family? Two supportive loving fathers.
Mitchell: I'm just saying she's five.
Cam: And you never let her forget it.

Manny: What kind of man writes poetry on the computer?
Jay: You could've ended that sentence after poetry.

Oh so now it's snooping, wanting to know more about your family by looking through their personal things?


I don't want my mom there. I'm exploring some darker themes I'm not sure she's read for. Poems like the umbilical noose, a jail called mom, Smother nature. She'll just find a way to make it all about her.


Haley: Oh yeah she can wear whatever she wants after I've had it for six months.
Alex: Or I get it automatically if you buy anything that looks like it.

Maybe I bring out the worst in them when there's no fun loving Phil around to neutralize my toxins.


I know that tone. You're making a point.

Phil [to Claire]
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