Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern-family

Haley going to college in a miracle, Lily going to kindergarten is the law.

Claire

What if this baby doesn't think things through, it's part Jay!

Manny

Do you see what's going on out there? People are walking around judging each other.

Haley

I wrapped my son with one hand while driving a stick. I know how to keep my kid safe.

Gloria

Haley: Don't dork up our room.
Alex: Don't slut up your college.

Is this kindergarten or the Hunger Games?

Cam

If you ever put your hands on my daughter again, I will string you up by your feet, run you up the flagpole and let the birds peck out your eyes.

Cameron
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