Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCModern Family Season 2 Episode 11: "Slow Down Your Neighbors" Quotes
I called the florist and order one dozen Mylar balloons. Good luck staying mad, honey!
Phil
I think we should drag him out of his car and punch him in the stomach until he barfs.
Luke
You are living in a little girl's toy and you have to move out!
Cam [to Barry]
I once saw a picture of myself at a friend's poetry slam, and all you could see were the whites of my eyes.
Mitchell
Oh yeah, everybody loves Michael Jordan, but nobody thinks of Scottie Pippin. The only reason I remember him is because he's named after my favorite musical.
Phil
There's no reason you should stay upright, but it just works.
Jay [to Gloria]
Two thirds of my house can't do what a billion Chinese do.
Jay [on Gloria and Manny's lack of bike-riding skills]
Stephen Hawking could ride that bike.
Jay
Luke, I am your father. That's what I said to you when you were coming out of your mom's lady parts.
Phil
Phil: She has to run everyday or she goes crazy, she's like a Border Collie.
Claire: Did you just compare me to a dog?!?
Phil: The smartest in the world!
Cam: There's a stranger in our hot tub.
Mitchell: Who is it?
Cam: You do know what stranger means, don't you?
