Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC

I hate it when you do that. You never heard of Troga? You never tried octopus? You never did this amazing thing I just discovered yesterday but I pretend like I've done my whole life?


I see the great realtor Margaret Wilson is here, looking more curvaceous than ever. Talk about your balloon payments.


Luke: I've heard The Jonas Brothers get nervous before every show.
Phil: Not Kevin.
Luke: Especially Kevin!

I'm lucky only one guy turned around.

Jay [on calling out "Carlos!"]

What about this two-hour Antiques Roadshow?
Manny I'll watch it today.


I'm not saying J.J. is small, but in the real estate section he was described as 'charming.'


Phil Dunphy is no straight guy.


Cam: I hate your beard.
Mitchell: Wow, you had that bullet in the chamber.

We fall a lot. Maybe you can be there to pick us up when we do.

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