Modern Family

Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABC
Modern family
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It was only four hours. I tipped over a paint can, and threw up a little. I think 'thanks' just about covers it.

Phil

This guy's been working like an imbecile all day for you.

Gloria [on Phil]

Was that before or after you were delivered to my door in a squad car wearing nothing but your underwear and a police hat.

Jay

Look who needs me now? Mr. Hot Dog fingers can't press 'print' without hitting three extra keys. Yeah, in my house now Jay! Technically we'll be in his house, but we'll be in my area of his house.

Phil

Mitchell: Nobody kisses at a bowling alley!
Cam: I almost got a turkey!

Your kids don't need to know who you were before you had them; they need to know who you wish you were, and try to live up to that person. They're gonna fall short, but better they fall short of the fake you than the real you.

Claire

Cameron: I remember once at a New Year's Eve party, stroke of midnight, he high-fived me. Two problems with that: One, gays don't high five. Two, gays don't high five.

I'm gonna go get a beer, beer, beer before I punch you in the head, head, head.

Jay

The computer and the printer must talk, talk, talk/Command P makes the picture walk, walk, walk.

Phil

Don't be coy, what are you waiting for a box of chocolates? Let's do this!

Jay
Displaying all 10 quotes

Modern Family Season 2 Episode 2 Quotes

The computer and the printer must talk, talk, talk/Command P makes the picture walk, walk, walk.

Phil

Don't be coy, what are you waiting for a box of chocolates? Let's do this!

Jay