Modern Family
Wednesdays 9:00 PM on ABCModern Family Quotes
Cam: I present to you the Asian for any occassion, the clown that will invert that frown, the dynamic duo of Fizbo and...
Lily: Lizbo!
Mitchell: Are you not hearing that?
Cam: We're working on the name.
What have I said about sneaking up on me? I could've been shaving. This could've been a Sweeney Todd moment.
Mitchell
He's grown up drinking from a breast bigger than his head. I don't think he scares easy.
Jay [about Joe]
Do we have to put the toilet on the counter? I take my afternoon coffee here.
Manny
Usually when everything's normal, people don't respond in perfectly rehearsed unison.
Mitchell
This was a huge mistake. I am jammed in the backseat with a hairy Peruvian biter. It's spring break '92 all over again!
Cam
Cam: It was right about then that a question started nagging at me: "Is Phil sexy?"
Life's too short to be ruled by fear. What do you say we get you the right dryer princess?
Phil [to Cam]
It's gonna take more than that to ruin a morning that started out with a whipped cream smile on my waffle.
Phil
The only thing stronger than Manny's fear is his need to protect his mama.
Gloria
Can you not make this fear worse? I watched Dede coddle Mitchell when he was afraid of the dark. Until he was 7 he would only blink one eye at a time. It gave a lot girls the wrong impression.
Jay
Jay: I thought your phone was stolen.
Gloria: This is Joe's phone.
Jay: This is why the terrorists hate us.
