That's right. I'm a little smarter than people think. But lucky too! That moose almost ruined everything!

Hayley

You two did hip hop without us?

Mitch

She trashed the room. Looked the The Who was staying there.

Jay

You can't drink. You have to stay sober to drive the rest of us home.

Jay

Aww. The scarier you try to be, the more adorable you are.

Phil

What the hell?! I'll clean my room. I promise!

Joe

You realize she's not that big, right? It's mostly just hair.

Alex

Mitch: Who are these men?
Cam: What are these things I don't do?

The waiter! I knew he was flirting with you!

Gloria

Ok, what kind of freak show goes on when I'm not around?

Manny

I love things that don't make sense. That's my gig.

Professor Arvin

Drive til you hear a party.

Luke

Modern Family Season 9 Quotes

Mitchell: I ran into this guy who runs the bait shop.
Jay: Is that a gay bar?

I don't trust lakes. Where I come from this is where we dump drugs and dead bodies.

Gloria