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Edgar: Oh my God, you smell like waffles.
Edgar's girlfriend: Want to eat me up?
Edgar: Yes, I do.

Don't ask about the duffle bag, bitch!

Edgar's mom

You're the deer! He wants to kill you! You're the deer!


They make shoes for your penis! They're called pants!


Winston said you make fun of my gremlin toenails. That you call them clickety-clacks or centaur boots.


Schmidt: A pogo is what your friends talk about when you leave the room.
Cece: Oh like your barnacle toenails?

What are you, the doodle police?


I know what my pogo is. It's that I dance like a sea snake.


Winston: I wanted to talk to you about the regrettable contact between Cece's...her down there and my...parts.
Schmidt: You practically shish-kebabed her.

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