Jess: I just need you to not do that thing you do.
Nick: What thing? I don't do a thing.
Jess: Yes, you get all mean and you make that little turtle face!

Jess: No! He's here early, how do I look?
Schmidt: It's better if you don't know.

Schmidt: I wanna let you know up front that I have some control issues in the kitchen. So if I'm gonna do this, I'm cooking the whole meal. I don't want you touching anything. And I don't want to hear Schmidt, Schmidt, you're using too much tarragon.
Jess: You will never hear that from me!

Schmidt: Here's another tip, don't ask a guy out on a first date, on the least sexy holiday in America.
Jess: What are the sexiest holidays in America?
Schmidt: The most sexy holidays are the 4th of July, Independence day obviously. Women's history month, and Christmas.

Are we gonna be able to hang with Paul, or is he also a teacher?

Winston

Schmidt: It's our thing, Jess. Dudesgiving.
Nick: Okay no matter how many emails you send, that's not real.
Schmidt: It's real, man!
Nick: It's not real! We're not calling it that.

Nick: We're just gonna watch football, drink beer, and then we're going to Best Buy later for Black Friday.
Winston: Or as I like to call it, Friday.

Jess: What you doing for Thanksgiving?
Paul: Well I always spend it with my Grandmother, but -
Jess: That's so nice!
Paul: She just died.

Oh my God, there's two of them!

Nick

Well I can blanch or I can talk but I can't do both!

Schmidt

New Girl Season 1 Episode 6 Quotes

Oh my God, there's two of them!

Nick

Well I can blanch or I can talk but I can't do both!

Schmidt