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We used to have a school goat named Melvin. He hung himself, tragically, on the swing set.


Burquas isn't you guys, is it?


Life's messy. It kicks you in the ass. That's right, I said ass.


I don't know how you get a podcast, but you should look into it.


Mr. Day: What's she like?
Nick: She's not quirky. She has no bangs.

I didn't gay my way out of Vietnam just to get killed by some punk.

Mr. Day

If they make fun of you, I'll punch them in the penis.


I know you're lying, and I'm hurt, but I'm gonna eat this anyway

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