Night Court
Tuesdays 8:00 PM on NBCNight Court Quotes
Dan: Roz?
Roz: Fielding. They made you a judge? [to the bailiff] Take me back to jail.
Dan: She loves me.
Welcome home, Your Honor. I got new folders for your first night back. No blood stains.
Neil
Abby showed me that my whole life doesn’t have to be about my career. She’s ruined me like that town ruined the Grinch.
Olivia
Neil: Abby’s such a sweet kid. She had a pretty big crush on me for a while.
Dan: Permission to treat this witness as delusional.
Gurgs: So I’m going to be a little late to my program in London and we all know Neil’s never going to coach baseball.
Neil: Eight-year-olds didn’t like me when I was eight and they don’t like me now.
Why can’t we play nice? It’s the only sport I’m good at!
Abby
My boss, Jeff Dewitt, told me that I’m going to be fired unless I join his prosecution team against you. And the only thing worse than working at night court is getting fired from night court.
Olivia
This place has it all. Everyone’s always yelling and the yelling, it’s always so angry. Even when people say, ‘NICE ASS,’ I’m not sure they mean it. Drips from above, smells from below. I can’t wait to live here.
Rand
Abby: I’m just saying that we can win this without throwing someone under the bus.
Dan: Nobody’s talking about throwing anybody. We just nudge her off the curb into the street hopefully as a drowsy bus driver comes by.
Dan: C’mon, let’s talk strategy.
Rand: OR. The strategy is no strategy. We’re wild cards. Think about it. If we don’t know what we’re doing, neither will they.
Dan: Does he have to be here?
A felony, Dan? A felony? Do you know what that means if I’m convicted? I’d be a felon!
Abby
I just wanted to stop by and make sure everybody’s being charged correctly. I think that our judges need to be held to a higher standard, especially ones who are, in legal parlance, STUPID-FACED JERKS!
Dewitt
