Night Court
Tuesdays 8:00 PM on NBCNight Court Quotes
Abby: Look at how cute he is, sitting courtside, like a basketball wife or a more handsome Jack Nicholson.
Olivia: More handsome? Someone clearly hasn’t seen The Shining.
You don’t understand. They were doing flips OVER me. They made Patrick Swayze and Jennifer Gray look like trash. Most impressive part was none of the dancing was even remotely dirty.
Rand
Abby: Do you think it’s possible that you fall for unavailable women so you have an excuse if it doesn’t work out?
Neil: That would explain why I had a crush on Mrs. Brady. You could tell she was unhappy but she was never going to leave Mike. They were a ‘bunch’.
To be fair, A Christmas Carol was always going to get old. It’s just a bunch of socialist ghosts trying to stop a decent man from running a small business.
Olivia
Gabby: I’m doing well. I’m a dentist now. You probably remember I always loved mouths. They do so many things – smile, talk, eat. They’re not lazy like arms.
Neil: Totally. Arms have been riding hands’ coattails for far too long.
Gurgs: I’m just trying to apologize for letting that lady and her daiquiri give you a north Florida baptism.
Dan: Listen, I’m a lawyer. I’ve had things thrown at me for years. At least this wasn’t sharp or on fire or a ferret. Poor thing. Just in the wrong place at the wrong time.
Gurgs: [pulling out a basketball tank tee] I feel like you could pull this off.
Dan: Exposed arms are just someone’s way of saying that their muscle tone is their only currency.
The fact is, I should’ve known that woman was trouble the moment she puked in her purse.
Gurgs
I swore an oath – that I made up – to protect this court at all costs, and tonight, a suit lost its life on my watch.
Gurgs
Olivia: I thought we were Luke and Leia.
Brock: They’re brother and sister.
Olivia: What? Does their dad know?
I’ll give you a seat on the board. You can become VP of snacks! That means you’re in charge of all the snacks! Fruit is not a snack.
Dan
Tell me all about the star battles. Fraggle rocks. If it contributed to your virginity, I want to know about it.
Olivia
