Alex: I know it must have been a surprise, me and Chase.
Mia: No not really. It's what you do right? Break up couples.
Alex: Yeah. It kinda is, but not this time. You screwed this up all by yourself didn't you?
Mia: You can go now.
Alex: By the way, I plan to make him happier than you ever did. So you should probably just give up and move on now. Okay? Great. Now I can go.

I was just arrested and explored by a woman with a mustache and man hands! When you look up "bad" in the dictionary, this is it!

Brooke

Before you say another word, you should both know that I just have just come from the city jail, where I was frisked by a large supposedly female cop who was very thorough in her cavity search. Now speak.

Brooke

Nathan: Is everything okay?
Doctor: Yeah. I just wanna run some tests.

Speaking of slutty, congratulations on being pregnant.

Mia (to Haley)

Clay: I just realized that I haven't seen a single person on this beach all day...have you?
Quinn: No.
Clay: Do you know what that means? Skinny dipping.

Get ready for my greased lightning!

Julian (to Brooke)

Haley: You said the basketball hoop was like my uterus?
Nathan: He caught me totally off guard. He was like a ninja...Like a three foot tall, where do babies come from, ninja.

This happens all the time. I sleep with a girl and then the next morning she's already planning the wedding.

Julian (to Brooke)
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