Orange is the New Black

Fridays 8:00 PM on Netflix
Orange is the new black

All I wanted was to eat the chicken that was smarter than other chickens and to absorb its power and enjoy a nice Chicken Kiev but, oh well.

Red

Piper: I spent a lot of time wondering if it would matter if I died.
Nicky: In the macro sense, no. You're one Cheerio in the bulk box of life. But, you f*ckin' tickle me, so I think it would matter.

I like hot girls. And I like hot boys. I like hot people. What can I say? I'm shallow.

Piper

Piper: One of my roommates has a massive heart attack when she got here.
Larry: OK - you are not allowed to have a heart attack.

Sam: Why?
Piper: Why isn't this the Radisson?
Sam: Why do you need to be moved? Did somebody try to engage with you?

I just didn't expect to be punished... while I was being punished.

Piper

Maybe this is a bad time to say hi.

Alex

Sophia: I made my own. Commissary don't carry a size 13.
Piper: Is that duct tape?
Sophia: Metallics are very in this season.

There's no point in playin' shy baby. You're home.

Sophia

Why would anyone ever give up being a man? That's like winning the lottery and giving back the ticket.

Figueroa

Piper: She's issued a Fatwa against me. I think I'm gonna have to fight her.
Larry: What?
Piper: How am I going to fight an old Russian lady with back problems?

You love adventure, right? And that's what got you in there. This is all just a big adventure with liver, and yoga Jones and racism.

Larry
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 153 in total

Orange is the New Black Quotes

Piper: I spent a lot of time wondering if it would matter if I died.
Nicky: In the macro sense, no. You're one Cheerio in the bulk box of life. But, you f*ckin' tickle me, so I think it would matter.

All I wanted was to eat the chicken that was smarter than other chickens and to absorb its power and enjoy a nice Chicken Kiev but, oh well.

Red
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