Orange is the New Black
Fridays 8:00 PM on NetflixOrange is the New Black Season 2 Episode 1: "Thirsty Bird" Quotes
I was a demanding poochie. Do you guys tell us where we're going or do you hand out blindfolds when we land?
Piper
You live on a slippery slope, kid, but for some reason you keep doing rain dances. Good luck.
Howard
I was there for Alex. She was what I paid attention to. Who I paid attention to. Everything else was just background
Piper
Yeah, but what about my safety if I testify? This guy is the real deal and from what I've seen on The Sopranos they don't take too kindly to those they consider traitors. They hire killers with underwear fetishes to take them out.
Piper
He's a hit man? Oh I thought he was a rapist. I'm so relieved!
Piper
Snazzy told me a story about a girl named Piper. She could blow out candles with her coochie.
Inmate
I think I've moved beyond stress to something more deeply disturbing.
Piper
Marshal: Could you hurry it up a little bit?
Piper: I'm peeing as fast as I can.
Marshal: Really? Because it sounds a little light.