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I was a demanding poochie. Do you guys tell us where we're going or do you hand out blindfolds when we land?

Piper

You live on a slippery slope, kid, but for some reason you keep doing rain dances. Good luck.

Howard

I was there for Alex. She was what I paid attention to. Who I paid attention to. Everything else was just background

Piper

Yeah, but what about my safety if I testify? This guy is the real deal and from what I've seen on The Sopranos they don't take too kindly to those they consider traitors. They hire killers with underwear fetishes to take them out.

Piper

He's a hit man? Oh I thought he was a rapist. I'm so relieved!

Piper

Snazzy told me a story about a girl named Piper. She could blow out candles with her coochie.

Inmate

I think I've moved beyond stress to something more deeply disturbing.

Piper

Marshal: Could you hurry it up a little bit?
Piper: I'm peeing as fast as I can.
Marshal: Really? Because it sounds a little light.

Displaying all 8 quotes

Orange is the New Black Season 2 Episode 1 Quotes

He's a hit man? Oh I thought he was a rapist. I'm so relieved!

Piper

I think I've moved beyond stress to something more deeply disturbing.

Piper
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