A guy's gotta pick the right time to give a girl a ring. Wow, that could have been the worst thing I could have said right now.


Nothing worse than a bad kisser.


Ted: Second rule of the subway, never wake anybody up.
Laura: What's the first rule?
Ted: Take a cab.

It could be worse. You could have Jujubeed his wife.


You can't mean me. Pan Am has the best on time schedule in the world.

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