Crosby: No more radio show for you?
Jabbar: Nope.
Crosby: All right. I could have played that for two hours.

Wait, mom, I can't go to the store without finding out why you're speaking Chinese.

Sarah

Should I wear a little hat, a little chauffeur's jacket?

Amber

You look really pretty. I was listening, but I also wanted to tell you that. And you smell really good.

Mark

I mean, her dog is probably dead. And it's my fault. So there's no way she's going to date me or go out with me.

Drew

Crosby: You know, there's wheat in beer.
Jasmine: Yeah, so?
Crosby: So when he's at his first keg party he'll gonna be the weirdo in the sweater vest sippin' on chardonnay in the corner. That's on you.

Simon and Garfunkel are not dead. They'll live forever.

Zeek

Not to sound skeptical, but a wheat allergy, it seems like it's the snuggie of diseases...everyone has one this year.

Crosby

I gotta ask you a very serious medical problem, Jabar. Have you been farting a lot lately?

Doctor

Julia: Um...Zoe. Would you ever consider letting me adopt your baby?
Zoe: No.

He was two years old when The Breakfast Club came out.

Sarah

You just can't go rogue on me and hammer out a deal at the coffee cart. That's crazy, Julia. You know that's crazy, right?

Joel

Parenthood Season 3 Quotes

We haven't had a single interview in six months. We need Gaga.

Julia

Oh man, this baby's pushing on my bladder like you wouldn't believe. I need an adult diaper.

Kristina