Ron: I'll have number eight.
Waiter: That's a party platter.
Ron: I know what I am, son.

Thank you Mr. Swanson for your absurd opinion which you share with no one.

Leslie

You're a smart, successful young man with an adorable little belly.

Chris

Ann: Before I write that letter, you have to spend the week doing everything I say.
April: So what, I have to be your slave or something?
Ann: No, you have to be my friend.
April: Ugh, that's so much worse.

I think Mona Lisa's stealing from me!

Tom

I am 100 percent sure I am 0 percent sure of what to do.

Chris

We only have Japenese slime candy and Bulgerian wheat balls.

Denis

It's a heartwarming story, but it's just not believable! Which is why I give ET one and a half stars.

Perd

Oh yeah, she's my twin sister from the same mister.

Jean Ralphio

These kids are renting old clothes like they're going out of style! Which they never will.

Tom

Parks and Recreation Season 5 Episode 16 Quotes

Oh yeah, she's my twin sister from the same mister.

Jean Ralphio

These kids are renting old clothes like they're going out of style! Which they never will.

Tom